CSotD: We move on to further action

Paul Noth having summed up the Nov 24 election, we move on to further action, later in the game.

That phrase is a bit of nostalgia for fans of the Notre Dame Football Replay that aired on Sundays and depleted attendance at the 10:30 Mass. They had to fit it into the time slot, so drives in which nothing happened were cut. And we moved on to further action, later in the game.

Which is pretty much where we’re at with indictment cartoons. Noth is right, but I didn’t much laugh because I don’t see a whole lot of difference between his gag and the reality unfolding.

Meanwhile, the early commentary has been covered and it’s time to wait and see if anyone else has anything new to say on the topic.

Not that I can’t find political reasons to become annoyed with the funny pages. For instance, today’s Flying McCoys (AMS) makes me suspect that Ron DeSantis has once more been messing with the history curriculum, since the Medieval Period ended about a century before potatoes were brought from the New World to Europe.

I’m willing to accept those as particularly large chicken legs, since the king would likely have his pick of the flock. But, like potatoes, turkeys didn’t appear until about a century after Medieval times, no matter how many vendors are selling drumsticks at the Ren Faire, the Renaissance having extended enough into the Period of Exploration that turkey legs are possible in such settings, at least on royal tables.

In any case, the introduction of potatoes is a major part of the New World dietary revolution, though I’ll admit we learned more about the Three Sisters — corn, beans and squash — than about potatoes, at least until the Famine.

At which point potatoes were, indeed, food the production of which was an important and useful life skill that both peasants and enslaved people were taught.

No complaints about this On the Fastrack (KFS), since it’s a particular bit of Corporate Idiocy that had profound impact on my own industry and over which I’ve complained in recent days.

The joke behind the joke is that we didn’t have any contingency plans in place at all. When winter came, the snowbirds left and we’d have a downturn in home deliveries and an uptick in mail subscriptions, and once in awhile some genius would think to offer lower mail rates for homesick GIs, but that was about all the variance in revenue we thought possible.

Yes, newspapers once mattered that much.

If we’d been farmers, we’d have all starved to death.

Those of us old enough to remember the Good Old Days of newspapers were once young enough to wince at the cluelessness of our elders, and so I refuse to be insulted by this Moderately Confused (AMS).

Fact is, there are all sorts of things my phone does that I don’t know how to undo, not because I’m old and stupid but because I don’t care enough to bother finding out.

“Restart” solves most of them.

IMHO, the real test is whether you laugh at this commercial, which is, certainly, a Dumb Old Folks joke, but carefully constructed to mostly be a Clueless Parent joke.

I know a lot of people hate Liberty Mutual commercials, but — now that they’ve abandoned the Brad spots — they’re quite well put together. The young girl is smart, which takes away some of the sexism, while her mother’s response at the end is understated, extending the humor into more of a Gracie Allen take than a simple age gag.

In any case, I’m less concerned with my phone haphazardly switching on its flashlight function than I am with it randomly deciding to shut off without telling me.

You can’t undo things you didn’t know had happened.

Juxtaposition of the Day #1

Rhymes with Orange — KFS

Real Life Adventures — AMS

Speaking of old folks, I went through a period of trying to decide if I should shave my bald spot or just let it entrophize on its own and if that isn’t a word it should be. But I’ve now reached the “Where the hell did that come from?” stage, in which I suddenly discover some flagella floating in front of my eyes.

The idea of the baker dropping hair into the batter is somewhat disturbing, but I think it’s worse to play off the old Dad Joke: “Did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!”

Juxtaposition of the Day #2

The Duplex — AMS

Rubes — Creators

It would have taken me longer to get today’s Rubes if I hadn’t just read today’s Duplex.

The difference is that the rabbits blame the problem on a stray dog, since dog walkers in their neighborhood are apparently fastidious about scooping, while, like a lot of people with fenced yards, Eno only does pick-up every so often, likely before he cuts the grass.

Though his dog wouldn’t have to wake him up if Eno were a little older and in the habit of leaving his phone’s flashlight on.

Personal Takes

Living on the edge of the Appalachian Trail has given recent Frazz (AMS) strips particular relevance. We see thru-hikers regularly, plodding through town on the portions of the hike that are paved and lined with houses and stores, before they disappear back into the wilderness.

And, yes, Caulfield, they occasionally turn up at the laundromat, thank goodness. The bears and moose are redolent enough.

Arlo and Janis (AMS) bring up a somewhat obscure fact, which is that, if you have a bar or a coffeeshop and you play background music, you’re supposed to be paying a licensing fee. I mostly know this because I knew a guy who visited bars and coffeeshops, as Gus says, to make sure they did so.

It’s an obscure fact because there are a lot more bars and coffeeshops than there are ASCAP inspectors.

And speaking of obscurities, Keith Knight reports on something I’d wondered about, my regret being that, had I known the strike would have this kind of impact on Comic-Con, I might have gone.

I don’t suppose they’d agree to strike again next year, do you?

Here’s the least political Phil Ochs song I know of, but, just to be safe, I’ll have Melanie Safka sing it:

10 thoughts on “CSotD: We move on to further action

  1. I’ve figured out how to turn the flashlight off, but I still haven’t figured out why my phone occasionally takes snapshots of its own screen and sends them to my desktop PC.

  2. The actress playing the daughter in the Liberty Mutual commercial is Jackie Preciado. You may remember her from her “Use the cocktail stick” line in an AT&T ad that featured Gordon Ramsey.

  3. Those commercials aren’t too bad, it’s the “Limu Emu” ones I can’t tolerate. So painfully unfunny that it’s… painful.

    For the record, I just turned 37 and I’ve been in the “Where the hell did that come from?” stage for several years now. So many stray hairs and random splotches that appear out of nowhere, oftentimes overnight. Isn’t having a physical body fun?

    1. The thing I hate about the Liberty Mutual commercials is that they try to claim some special virtue in doing what literally every auto insurance company does: letting the customer customize what insurance coverage they need.

      They are the Wall Drug Store* of insurance companies.

      * For the few who don’t get the reference, Wall Drug Store is a drug store in South Dakota that gained fame by putting up billboards along the highway leading into Wall, SD advertising “free ice water”, which at the time, all drug stores offered.

  4. So, according to trumps lawyers, if I go into a bank and yell “Give me your money, this is a stick-up” the police can’t do anything because “First Amendment”??

    1. You can forward the whole thing, yes. Or comment on it including a link to the original.

  5. When you mentioned “the Brad spots,” I thought you meant the ones with a bandage or two on his face, looking like he’d just been in a car crash.

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