CSotD: Fudd’s First Law of Opposition

Joe Heller‘s cartoon suggests that Jeffrey Epstein’s death has ended what would have been a series of scandals and downfalls.

However, I would point out that anyone familiar with cemetery vandalism knows otherwise and that this is a simple case of Fudd’s First Law of Opposition: “If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.”

But you have to want to push. Do we?

Never mind the conspiracy theories: That’s the relevant question.

If it was a set-up, it was a damned foolish one, since there’s already enough evidence on the table that his death is simply an inconvenience.

The first people who get blamed by the conspiracy theorists are the ones who killed Vince Foster, which is best answered by the thing going around on social media pointing out that, if Hillary had that kind of reach, she’d be in the White House.

And among the damn fools promoting it is a guy whose besties and governmental role models have a history of having their opponents turn up dead.

And who thinks Obama was born in Kenya, and who demanded to see his college transcripts but worked to hide his own.

Here’s the thing: Even the mob can’t keep its conspiracies secret. And even Trump’s aforementioned bestie can’t keep hidden the fact that he routinely kills witnesses.

In the mean time, I’m more inclined to look to Occam’s Razor, and, in this case, the simplest answer requires that you have some familiarity with jails and jailers.

“How could they be so stupid?”

Never mind the high-flown j-school geniuses who hobnob at the White House Concubines’ Association Dinner each year.

Ask the rumpled guy in the corner of the newsroom who does the daily “Cops & Courts” roundup.

Better yet, buy him a cup of coffee and gather ’round, because he’s got a extensive collection of highly entertaining stories on the topic.


And along that same line, Adam Zyglis comments on the potential bankruptcy of the Diocese of Buffalo, now that NYS has passed a law that gives victims of sexual abuse a year in which they can file civil suits regardless of the statute of limitations when they were kids.

Again, the stories are out there for anyone with the courage to turn over the rocks, and the biggest barrier has been that the perpetrators are so well known that kids assume the adults would step in if it were wrong.

It’s not the case that the majority of priests or Scout leaders or teachers are molesters. But how many arsonists does it take to burn down a building?

The kids know.

I was once preparing to write a column on the topic but wanted to do an update check. My youngest was a freshman in college, but I knew a girl he’d dated from one school, a soccer-team rival at another and a friend from a third, all of whom were now seniors.

Three phone calls, three different schools, three different school employees, three immediate confirmations that the usual suspects were still active.

It’s not at all hard, but you do have to ask around.

Which, from a journalist’s point of view, from a school administrator’s point of view, from a bishop’s point of view, means you have to do your damn job.

If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.


And Pat Bagley draws a nice little “Scenes We’d Like To See” cartoon.

Speaking of things you could discover fairly easily if you bothered to ask.

I find it instructive and absurd that ICE initially refused to release the names of the companies it had raided. Instructive and absurd because they weren’t raiding companies, they were rounding up workers.

And, once the companies were identified, they claimed they’d checked those workers’ credentials.

What’s that saying? “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 600 times …”

I forget how long it’s been since we had reports that Mar-A-Lago and Trump golf courses were employing undocumented aliens. Now they’ve turned up a Trump construction company which does likewise.

“They” being the newspapers. Not a peep from ICE.

I  remember back when two of Bill Clinton’s cabinet nominees had to drop out because they’d hired undocumented women to watch their kids.

Now contempt for the law seems to be a prerequisite for being hired by the White House.

I saw a thing on Facebook that said something along the lines of how “you people who eat beef and chicken” should be aware of the lives being disrupted by these raids.

Yeah, well, you vegans better brace yourself for when the jackboots get to the San Joaquin Valley.

And don’t expect to see anyone in charge frog-marched off to the hoosegow there, either.

Michael Dukakis liked to quote a Greek proverb that “a fish smells from the head,” but, then again, he got his ass whipped in the elections, so there ya go.

If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.

That’s why we don’t push at all.


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