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CSotD: Truth, limping as if on heel spurs

Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had its effect: like a man, who hath thought of a good repartee when the discourse is changed, or the company parted; or like a physician, who hath found out an infallible medicine, after the patient is dead. — Jonathan Swift

 

Pat Bagley offers the most depressing of today’s cartoons, but one which goes nicely with Dean Swift’s quote.

 

And Phil Hands follows a similar line with the best of a substantial flock of “Christmas Carol” tie-ins.

 

Juxtaposition of the Day

(Ann Telnaes)

(Mike Luckovich)

Let me be clear: I am not so cynical that I did not get a huge kick out of yesterday’s utterly bizarre, utterly unanticipated tRump Roast.

Like Telnaes, I was particularly pleased to see him hauled up by the you-know-whats by a woman, given his penchant for shortchanging them on every possible level.

Like Luckovich, I marveled at his inability to steer things, and the way he simply blundered straight into what was less a trap than a simple case of someone finally standing up to him.

Nobody enjoys a good dose of schadenfreude dished out on behalf of a deserving bully any more than I  do.

And reportedly, while Pelosi was out in front of the White House questioning his manhood, Dear Leader was storming around inside, throwing papers and pitching a hissy fit.

So it’s not that he didn’t know he’d just been made to look foolish in front of the cameras.

By a girl.

Oh my.

And yet Bagley and Hand are also correct in that, once he has processed not just the humiliating collapse of his carefully staged puppet show but the impending doom that hovers around his door, he will regroup, rethink and recast it within the self-justified fantasy world of the true narcissist.

Perhaps you have to be old enough to remember the 1970 murders of Dr. Jeffrey MacDonald’s wife and daughters, and the bizarre story of the hippie cultists who invaded his house, and how, after nine years, it all crumbled and turned out he’d done it himself.

Or at least old enough — and it’s been 24 years — to have watched the slow-motion pursuit of OJ Simpson in the white Bronco, after which we assumed he’d make a shame-faced confession and head for jail, only to have him steadfastly deny against all logic and evidence that he’d done it.

Old enough to realize that they didn’t simply lie and deny their guilt but that these pathological narcissists firmly, sincerely believed in their innocence.

It’s a commonplace to say that our prisons are full of “innocent” men, but, once you dig into it, you find a lot of layers.

There are the genuinely innocent, most often those who were bullied into pleading guilty to a lesser charge rather than risking a greater one.

I  sat on a jury that took virtually no time to exonerate the defendant; his public defender later told me how often kids like that go down out of a combination of intimidation and insufficient representation.

And there are liars, though I’ve met few of those. It’s rude to ask anyone what they were up for, but when the topic arises, some have excuses and explanations, but few deny their guilt.

Then there are the mooncalves who simply don’t get it. I had a burglary suspect explain quite sincerely that he hadn’t stolen the bike; he simply held the door open while his buddy wheeled it out. Sentenced to six months in the county lockup, he asked one of the deputies when the bus would come each day to take him to school.

But even he knew, however imperfectly, that he was involved in the theft of a bicycle.

You could put Jeff MacDonald or OJ Simpson on a lie detector, ask them about the murders and they would pass with flying colors.

I truly wish, when this whole thing is over, that Donald Trump would stand up and say, “I did it. I shouldn’t have. I’m guilty.”

But I would be astonished if it happened.

After all, Nixon knew he was guilty, and he couldn’t say the words. There’s no reason to expect to hear them from a man who sincerely believes he’s innocent.

The result will be a substantial number of deplorables who will also firmly believe that Dear Leader is innocent, that he was hounded from office by “them,” and that there is a new Lost Cause to be avenged.

So I got a laugh out of yesterday’s circus, but it was a nervous laugh.

 

I do take some comfort from Time Magazine’s stalwart defense of journalism, and I got a laugh out of Jeff Stahler‘s commentary, which ties into Trump’s apparent expectations that they were going to choose him.

Stahler wasn’t the only cartoonist to riff on the topic, but he kept it simple and that’s what was called for.

 

By contrast, Joe Heller larded this piece with detail, and that was the right choice, too.

There are any number of “Help Wanted” cartoons floating about, but their simplicity simply prompts an agreeing nod.

Most of the others specified, or at least implied, a babysitting position. Heller lays out the whole three-ring circus of the position, and of the administration it serves.

His comprehensive list plus illustrations made me actually laugh.

 

Cartoonists: Be Careful Not To Rip Off Your Readers

Yesterday, I got some T-shirts in the mail, just in time to go out as holiday gifts.

Well, if they had fit.

It’s the second time I’ve bought Print-To-Order T-shirts with cartoons, and the second time the supplier has decided that “Adult L” should barely fit an eight-year-old.

I’m sure tiny shirts cost the printer more than big ones, but both the cartoonists and their readers are getting ripped off.

I would urge cartoonists, in future, to ask for samples before you commit.

Once is an error. Twice is a business plan.

Look before you ask us to leap.

 

 

 

Community Comments

#1 Sean Martin
December/12/2018
@ 7:50 am

If the tees were coming from a company using a Chinese vendor, be sure to look at the sizing chart. I was about to order a size L for a jacket that was being sold… until I looked at the chart and realized I needed to get a 3XL.

#2 Mike Peterson
December/12/2018
@ 8:00 am

I wouldn’t be surprised, but it’s up to the stateside vendor to correct for that. That’s why I say “Get a sample.” It took me almost two months to figure out my coffeemugs and included getting samples and consulting with a cousin who runs a company that does that sort of thing (on a scale I couldn’t afford.).

I’m sure the cartoonists don’t know it, but they should. The money you make on a shirt isn’t worth pissing off someone who might buy another.

#3 Kip Williams
December/12/2018
@ 8:50 am

Trump’s fans already think he “won” the latest encounter. The question is no longer “what were you watching?” but “what were you watching with?”

Anyway, I just wanted to mention Wokker, the surrealist comic strip from England in the 70s. The usual caveat applies (sorry if you already covered this and I missed it; doll does not sing and dance; do not taunt Happy Fun Ball), but here is a gallery of examples, and there’s an “about” link at the start, because more information can be found on the internet:

http://anthonyearnshaw.com/wokker.htm/

#4 J.P. Terryberry
December/12/2018
@ 11:11 am

Trump fans think in absolutes and infallibility. So stupid. So dangerous.

#5 Mary McNeil
December/12/2018
@ 3:10 pm

You forgot to mention Scott Peterson and Chris Watts, though they didn’t fool anyone for nearly as long as McDonald did..

#6 Mike Peterson
December/12/2018
@ 4:52 pm

The question isn’t how long anyone got away with anything, but how sincerely they believe they didn’t do it.

#7 Hank Gillette
December/14/2018
@ 3:03 am

I was a juror on a similar criminal trial a few years ago. It had to do with whether the defendant was in illegal possession of a gun that was found deep in the cushions of the couch he was sleeping on at his mother’s apartment. That was the extent of the state’s case. The cops entered the apartment with a no-knock warrant looking for the defendant’s brother.

It didn’t help when the arresting sergeant admitted that the gun in question wasn’t tested for fingerprints because “too many cops had handled it.”

The only reason our verdict took more than five minutes was because every juror wanted to explain why they were voting “not guilty” and how stupid it was to take this case to trial. No wonder our criminal courts are overloaded if they bring cases like this to a jury trial.

#8 Mike Peterson
December/14/2018
@ 3:40 am

Why? Because he wouldn’t plead to a lesser charge of which he also wasn’t guilty. But you knew that.

#9 Hank Gillette
December/14/2018
@ 1:00 pm

I figured maybe the prosecuting attorney had royally PO’d her boss, and this was her punishment. They had to know that no reasonable jury would vote to convict, especially with the incompetence of the police officers handling the pistol without gloves.

The defendant had been in the legal system before, and maybe something about that gave them more reason to believe that he was guilty. But they could not introduce evidence about his prior conduct (rightfully so), and they had to know that going in.

The only positive that came out of it was that I was gratified by how seriously all of my fellow jurors took their responsibility. All of them were well aware that they held the future of a man’s life (at least a few years of it) in their hands, and acted accordingly.

I am sure, that like myself, many would have preferred not to have been picked. But once they were, all of them listened to the testimony, weighed it against reasonable doubt, and came to the correct verdict. I was just glad that the decision was so clear-cut this time.

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