Dave Astor reports that former Tribune Co. boss Dennis FitzSimons is receiving a buyout package of approximately $41 million. When contacted by E&P, AAEC President Nick Anderson for a response, Nick and others of the AAEC board drafted up a top 10 list of fund-raising ideas to make sure FitzSimmons receives his fair portion.
The list contains:
“10. Laid-off journalists sign over their unemployment checks to help a poor executive out.
“9. Tribune readers send him a quarter every day for each feature they look for in the paper but can’t find because of one of his layoffs.
“8. All remaining Tribune staffers forward any journalism prize money over to him since they couldn’t have done it without him.
“7. Auction off Tribune Tower on eBay and give him the proceeds.
“6. Lease out vacant office space at other Tribune papers to generate monthly cash flow for Mr. FitzSimons.
“5. Corrupt politicians benefiting from fewer investigative journalists create a foundation for him.
“4. Overworked journalists taking on the extra load in the wake of layoffs squeeze in just a little more time to have a bake sale in his honor.
“3. Cartoonists hold a benefit auction of original art in his honor for all that he’s done to ensure the survival of editorial cartooning in America.
“2. Get a Hollywood studio to buy the movie rights for his heroic life story of public service.
“1. Remaining staffers at Tribune papers sell a kidney to go the extra mile for Fitz