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CSotD: Laughing with Language (Pedantry Warning)

What they did when I lived in Plattsburgh was come down to the state park on Lake Champlain. Whamond addresses things from an anglophone angle, but our tourists were francophones from Montreal, which made them particularly uptown and Continental.

Which meant that when my son was 16 and working the snack shack on the beach, he made sure to know all the Slushie flavors and other menu items en français, and when word got out that the tall kid spoke French, he wound up with a line of cute city girls in fashionably tiny bikinis at his station. Education makes a difference, people.

The Quebecers also came down on June 24, which is the feast of Jean Baptiste and Fête nationale du Québec and they tended to stick around throughout la vacance.

When I was a kid, however, I lived within an hour of Kingston, which is quite anglophonic, and so I’ll add this cultural note that years later, when SCTV had Doug and Bob use the term “hoser,” I about fell out of my chair, because it was a slang term on both sides of the St. Lawrence that replaced expressions beginning with the letter F.

Contemptible people were “hosers,” and if you came out on the short end of a deal, you had gotten “hosed” and its variations were equally as vulgar as their F-word equivalents.

I’m not sure the expression reached past the Kingston/Brockville stretch of the 401 before the McKenzie Brothers turned it into an international PG-rated catch-phrase.

Pedantic Juxtaposition of the Day

Dan Thompson is a punmaster, but his Sunday strip stopped me because that kind of lettuce can be en-Dive or on-Deev and the pun only works one way. I was going to let it slide until this one dropped the next day, and nobody says “cheeves,” unless some ancient ancestor of the author of The Wapshot Scandal used to harvest them.

I’ve been fascinated with the gentrification of the term “dive bar,” but Thompson depicts it as I’ve always thought of it. I gather the concept has softened, however, because it sure doesn’t mean what it used to.

I’ve been in some dives, but guardedly. I remember going with an ex-con friend to watch a Ron Lyle fight on TV at a place where, if a parole officer wandered in, he could violate everyone except me. It was like a meeting of the Cañon City Alumni Association, only they aren’t supposed to meet up on the outside.

Stephan Pastis is another notable punster, but his speciality is long, drawn-out, ridiculous shaggy-dog style puns where the actual pun becomes bathos after the absurd build-up. Which I happen to like, having had an elementary school principal who told long meandering stories that ended with wisdom like “People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.”

We’re headed the other direction today, however, and for this Northern New Yorker, Pig summons up the ghost of Melvil Dewey, who invented the Dewey Decimal System that everyone adopted and a system of simplified spelling that nobody did.

Dewey was a unique character, and not in a good way. But the thing with numbering the books worked, so there’s that.

This probably fits under the category of real nit-picking, but, then again, you shouldn’t stick unnecessary nits into your work for pedants to pick, and I’d have chosen a different last name, given that wearing halos and walking around on clouds is a purely Christian theological fantasy.

Granted, “Schwartz” is not a specifically Jewish last name, but it is a common one and at least some of us wince every time a famous Jew dies and is depicted in an obituary cartoon at the Golden Gates.

Which is why everyone got such a laugh in 2011 when Matt Bors addressed the overall issue in this obituary cartoon for Steve Jobs.

Anyway, Schwartz and its variants just mean “black” and the name exists in a variety of languages and religions and cultures, but, as said, the joke would have played better with a name that wasn’t so common in Yiddish.

Though, granted, I’m easily confused. The first time I drove through Hanover and saw the sign for Dartmouth’s “Black Family Visual Arts Center,” I was really surprised because, well, Dartmouth isn’t exactly Howard and I didn’t think there were likely a whole lot of Black families in the area.

They’re trying to change the name, but not for that reason. Dartmouth also isn’t Berkeley, but it did start admitting women, about a decade after it provided Chris Murphy a model for Animal House. Better late than never.

A discursion that sets us up for another

Juxtaposition of the Day

Someone said the other day that, since divorce is no longer nigh-impossible, people aren’t as reluctant to marry as they once were.

This is a load of hooey. People have always gotten married for stupid reasons, and the change in divorce laws coincided roughly with the development of antibiotics, which factors cancel each other out.

“Marry in haste and repent at leisure” remains as true as always, because however badly things may be ganging aglee, divorce remains not only a hassle but an admission that you screwed up, though perhaps not as quickly as in Bravo’s cartoon.

Then-wife and I made 13 years, which isn’t bad, and to go to Speed Bump, we did listen to our marriage counselor, but when, after many meetings of the three of us, we told him we were going to pull the rip cord, he actually got angry with us. Apparently however lousy we felt about the whole thing, he felt even worse. Poor baby!

Getting back to the development of penicillin, in War and Peace, Pierre marries the beautiful Helene because everybody seems to think he should, and she marries him because he’s just come into a major inheritance. Since that enormous novel is largely about Pierre getting his act together, their dysfunctional marriage becomes a major problem which Tolstoy resolves (spoiler alert) by having Helene conveniently die.

A survey of pre-1928 literature will find this a common plot development. Me, I’d rather work things out with penicillin and lawyers.

Bon fêtes!

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 21

  1. Quebecers? I thought it was Quebecois (married to one for thirteen years until her death).

  2. Quebecois, AFAIK.

    Slightly off-topic, but–speaking of Canada–I dug out a 1969 Punch article satirically speculating on England’s becoming the 51st state. (Note pedantic gerundic possessive.)

  3. I always learn something new here, in this case the word pedantry. Furthermore, I found that I am, in fact, a pedant.
    A new term, but much nicer than some of the other ones I’ve been called…

  4. Pastis created a double entendre with his cartoon that got passed the censors, even his cartoon ones. I learned a few years ago from my high school students that “thot” means That Ho’ Over There. It was while reading “Of Mice and Men” that one of them referred to Curley’s wife as a thot.
    I learned a lot of slang from my kiddos.

  5. St. Jerome, patron saint of librarians, was also flawed–in his case, a terrible temper. Must have been the lion’s influence. That’s why librarians have the reputation of being quiet and polite–we’re trying to atone.

    1. We need fierce librarians more than ever to stand against book bans.

      1. We’re not always quiet and polite, despite our reputation. 🙂

    2. That’s why he was never elected pope. (he lost twice)

  6. There is an old short cartoon that (I believe) is Canadian, titled “The History of Fire” that IIRC won some award or another. The only thing I now remember from it is a cat sitting outside a burning house and saying “I’m waiting for a mouse. Mouse flambeau.”

    Anyways, if anyone knows of it or can help me find it I’d appreciate it. I sure can’t, and I’d probably be disappointed in the entire thing if I did.

    1. Well, according to Wikipedia under the entry for the band “Couch Flambeau”, they based their name on that film (it was a Canadian fire prevention movie), so you’re aren’t imagining things at least…

    2. ETA: And the short is called “Hot Stuff”, put out in 1971.

    3. You all are awesome. As soon as I thought of this when reading above I knew that CSotD was the place to finally put this to rest. My poor kids (both in their 40s now) have had to suffer through me describing it for years. Now I can torture them with the real thing!

  7. The Chicago Tribune notoriously adopted some simplified spelling last century (Trib-speak was fully abandoned only in 1975).
    A look at the ever-shifting guide shows a few spellings, like analog (for analogue), that have gone mainstream; some, like thru, that are common shorthand but not formal; and many, like burocrat, that never caught on.

    PS Spellcheck, our new arbiter of correctness, leapt on burocrat but had no issue with thru

    1. Tribune owner Col. Robert McCormack called it “Sane Spelling” and started the program in 1938.
      From the Illinois Historical Society: “Among the first newly spelled words were agast, burocracy, crum, jocky, and missil. Soon came rime, jaz, and harth. By the following year, there were more than a hundred words.”.
      Later McCormackisms included “thru”, “hocky” and “ilands”.
      Henry Luce of TIME magazine also insisted on some of his own Americanisms.
      In addition to being a punster, Mr. Pastis is an historian.

  8. Is it weird that I don’t pronounce any of those words the way Pig spells them?
    More like “tawt” “thawt” “fawt” etc

    Also yeah, “thot” has its own meaning thank you very much.

    If there were any justice in this world, billionaires would be reincarnated as wage-slaves if not actual slaves.
    Oh well, there’s likely no afterlife and they can’t take it with them either way.

  9. I don’t know a lot of French, but I do know that Josh Freed got the gender wrong on “all roads lead to Rue Barré.”

    Because RUE is female, it should read RUE BARRÉE, the extra E to indicate gender.

    Of course, the photo in the piece helps – it has the correct gender for RUE BARRÉE.

  10. Roughly a fifth of the FB comments on Mel Brooks’ 100th were “May the Schwartz be with you!” But he probably used the name to reflect the dark side of the Force he was parodying in Spaceballs.

  11. Two other big events each July 1st. in Canada. 1) NHL free agency signing begin, and the sports fans and media dive full into which star players are changing teams. 2) Annual apartment leases in Montreal and Quebec start, so moving house on this day gives the ardent Quebec separtists something to distract them from a holiday they want nothing to do with.

    And you’re right, Mike, the young women in Montreal are incredibly beautiful. I’m trying to decide which bilingual “M” city, Montreal or Miami, has the best looking women. If you’re conversant in French and/or Spanish, you will go far.

  12. “May the Schwartz be with you” was a classic quote, but still the one that stuck with me was “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

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