CSotD: Nitwitticisms
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Modesty insists I begin today's exposé of nitwits with Maria Scrivan's relevant diagram of how I use reusable bags.
I'd do better if I could get them to the car, because both my co-op and my (usual) grocery store have signs at the door reminding you, which is okay if the bags are 50 feet away in the car, not so good if they're three miles away in the kitchen.
The co-op's plastic bags are heavy-duty enough that they don't blow away and that they can be used for things like dredging chicken, and, as someone with no garbage disposal, I like having the option of putting disgusting things into smaller bags, so, if New Hampshire were to outlaw one-time-use bags, I'd like them to put a thickness restriction on the definition.
However, I think the British plan of charging for one-use bags is fair and might well spark my memory enough to get them back into the car while catering to out-of-towners and those with a sudden unplanned shopping trip.
I'd add that paper bags are compostable, sustainable and don't blow off into the trees, but that horse has left the stables.
(Editor's Note: I just went and hung them on the kitchen doorknob.)
Juxtaposition of the Day
(xkcd)
Mark Parisi offers an excellent tutorial, while xkcd mourns the dumbing down, which are two slightly different things, but not by a whole lot.
Off the Mark pings two of my favorite rants, one of which is that 60-year-old cartoonists don't always do a good job of helping build readership by riffing on things only 60-year-old readers will get, and the other of which is that most of the "nostalgia" people hearken back to is actually crowd-sourced modern stuff: They'd have all identified that character if he were in his superhero guise because he's a Macy Parade balloon, but they don't actually remember where he came from.
Such that they believe the Cleavers were blissfully unaware of social issues, which is not nearly as annoying as the "What You Don't Know About Bobby Kennedy" sorts of things which turn out to be things we all knew about Bobby Kennedy.
And which leads into xkcd and the idea that things are what people say they are, as if truth were something we vote on.
The polling place being Buzzfeed, which you may or may not think is a pretty funny idea all on its own, but which, in any case, reflects on Buzzfeed staff and readers and not on reality.
IMNSHO, the author loses all credibility by starting off "HELLO there! Us folks at BuzzFeed are …"
If I may throw in a cultural referent that nobody under 60 will even pretend to remember.
And that's only grammar, well before we get into whether "polling" actually involves asking a pre-selected "Slack group" what they think and then throwing it open to whichever readers choose to respond.
In the words of Yogi Bear, whom everyone has heard of but most do not actually remember, she's "got a lot to be humble about."
Honestly.
On to more toxic nitwits

Drew Sheneman's cartoon is almost a spoiler for the whole group, because he has Giuliani explain things so plainly.
And the weird part is, that's more or less what Giuliani said. The days when you had to twist things to be funny or to make a point seem to be fading away.

And Scott Stantis accomplishes something of the same WTF by framing Trump's explanations in a Clintonian setting, the big difference being that Clinton was playing with the definition of "sex" while Trump is playing with the definition of "gullible."
But, of course, they're both being totally dishonest and it's worth pointing out but probably pointless, because you might just as well run a bogus poll at Buzzfeed to find out what it all means as ask conservatives how they define "dishonesty."
For that matter, it also fits into the thing about how what people "remember" is framed by contemporary presentation, since the rightwing seemed perfectly pleased with Kenneth Starr's off-task wanderings 25 years ago but is actually shocked, shocked today and has said that they don't want Mueller to repeat such an unfair process.

And I'm sure they don't, but, as Kevin Siers suggests, it may not be necessary. Giuliani is doing a helluva job on his own.
Steve Sack suggests putting him on a tighter leash; I might also suggest adding a muzzle.
I might. I'm not gonna, but, if he asked me, I might.
As it is, the whole thing reminds me of the "Please proceed, Governor," moment in the Obama/Romney debate …
… which, in turn, reminded me of that opening scene in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."
Which would suggest that Rudy should invite Robert Mueller to stay, but, even in those less contentious times, the "lesson learned" — according to Republicans — was not that Romney was wrong but that Candace Crowley was unfair to have quoted the facts.

But, then, we're in an era where Buzzfeed readers determine what acronyms mean and, as Pat Bagley points out, where it's up to the voters to determine other forms of truth.
Ah well, as Samuel Johnson wrote:
Hermit hoar, in solemn cell,
Wearing out life's evening gray,
Smite thy bosom, Sage, and tell,
What is bliss? And which the way?
Thus I spoke; and speaking sigh'd;
Scarce repress'd the starting tear;
When the hoary sage reply'd:
"Come, my lad, and drink some beer."
Not a Nitwit
The oft-cited-here Ruben Bolling — whose current Tom the Dancing Bug might well be featured as a Juxtaposition with Bagley's above piece — has won this year's Robert F. Kennedy Award in cartooning.
Twittereth he:
I'm really honored because it's for journalism work on issues of human rights and social justice, which seems like a lofty accolade for a comic strip that's been about an ape-man and giant wombats.
Timing, however, is everything.

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.
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