Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: A matter of perspective

Gil

The other day, I gave a quick plug for "Gil," Norm Feuti's newly-syndicated strip about a not-very-successful kid with a not-very-perfect life. Here, not quite two weeks into its run, is Gil.

I've mentioned this before, but Norm's other strip, "Retail," came out when I was working at a newspaper and the samples in the sales packet, while they made no apparent impact on the stodgy, Weeble-bottomed 40-something editors, sent the late-20s gang over on the advertising/art side of the newspaper into hysterics. They'd all worked retail jobs and were delighted to see someone explode the absurdities of that world.

Gil may not provoke a lot of outright laughter even from those who recognize his world.

Some chuckles and grins, certainly. It will have fun moments, and already has.

But I think it will get more smiles and nods of recognition than outright guffaws, which is okay. Some of the best strips work on that level, and the person who tries to turn every humorous observation into a laff riot is usually a pretty poor storyteller.

And I could be completely wrong, because I'm not in a position to evaluate the strip: I'm a divorced parent, but the strip is written by, and from the perspective of, a divorced kid.

It's not just a different perspective. It's a different world.

Today's Gil makes me think of 1979, when "Kramer vs. Kramer" came out, and we talked about taking our young son, who was then seven, to it. His best friend's parents were getting divorced and we knew he had some questions and insecurities around the matter.

By the time, five years later, that our own marriage failed, divorce was so common in our circle and among his friends that, while we were concerned about the impact on our kids, we no longer looked on it as an overall topic that they needed explained. 

As Gil and Shandra suggest, it was just one of the things that can happen to you, like your family moving to a new town. It's not that you wanted it to happen, and it is incredibly painful and difficult, but there it is and what are you going to do? "Lucky" means not having to adapt to it, having it be an established part of your reality from the get-go.

And you have to be grateful for the luck that comes your way. In this case, like Booker T said, if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all.

And that's a funny song, but not the kind of funny that makes you laugh.

Let me be clear: The strip is not about divorce. The strip is about Gil, and, like all kid strips, and like all kids, that leaves a lot of plotlines open to explore.

However, Gil is a divorced kid, and that's like saying he's diabetic.

You wouldn't do a whole strip based on a kid being diabetic, and, since the fact that a kid has diabetes isn't obvious to a casual onlooker, strips set, for instance, in the classroom or down at the local library wouldn't be likely to reference it.

But other times, it would come up, because somebody was providing snacks for the group or they'd go to a restaurant or he'd be invited to a birthday party or his Scout troop was taking a particularly long hike, and suddenly there it is, as something that invades those otherwise routine childhood events.

In this case, a youngster's identity as a divorced kid only comes up alternate weekends or whatever the schedule is. Or when he wants to play a sport that requires buying special equipment or when he wants to learn to play a musical instrument or when he needs braces.

Or when someone says "Have your parents sign this" or when the school refuses to send a copy of your report card to a second address or on father's day or mother's day when you don't have the requisite parent for whom everyone in the class is supposed to draw a card.

Y'know, just once in awhile.

As a parent, you have to deal with it, but, like the parent of the diabetic kid, you're still only "dealing with it." The kid is living it. The most obsessive, over-involved helicopter parent in the world cannot get inside the skin of their kid.

When my older son went into the Navy, I became aware of how very few books and movies about Navy life are written from the point of view of the enlisted man, rather than the officer. "The Caine Mutiny," "Mr. Roberts," "The Bounty Trilogy," all are about officers, with the enlisted men as props, often comic relief, or stupid and truculent, perhaps being loyal and true-blue, but never fully realized as characters.

Steve McQueen played a damage controlman — my son's specialty — in "The Sand Pebbles," which, you know, I guess if only one actor is ever going to portray someone you can identify with, Steve McQueen is a pretty good choice.

It's the same thing with divorce.

"Kramer vs. Kramer" had a kid in it, but the movie was about the parents. Ditto with Jerry Bittle's comic strip, "Shirley and Son." And so on and so forth. It's always about the parents.

Well, Gil is about the kid.

And, while I don't think Gil is ever going to be mistaken for Steve McQueen,  most kids these days don't know who the hell Steve McQueen was anyway.

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Comments 12

  1. I really, really like Gil. The strip a few days ago with Gil’s dad finding enough change to buy a scratch ticket was amazing. I’m all in on this one.

  2. This is a very well written review/commentary on Gil. And I sincerely hope that the author’s comments are where Mr. Feuti is going with Gil.
    However, I have serious doubts. Quite frankly, from the daily Gil strips and mostly from reading interviews with Mr. Feuti, it seems he has a disturbing agenda. That is, in the way he portrays Gil’s divorced Dad. His comments in interviews and the comic strip itself focus on how “horrible” Gil’s Dad is and portrays him as a deadbeat Dad.
    I personally have been through a very painful divorce and have made ever effort to be there for my children. The legal system is structured in a way that a lot of Dads going through a divorce get almost treated like a criminal. I realize there are deadbeat Dads out there but from my experience the majority of divorced Dads are good people who try to be the best for their children while trying to rebuild their own lives. I know I am. I plan activities for “my weekends” and nurture my children with all my love. I know it’s hard for them and it breaks my heart. And I do everything I can to be there for and with them.
    From what I’ve read (especially words from Mr. Feuti’s numerous interviews) it appears that he is showing a very narrow and harmful portrayal of divorced Dads. It almost seems that he is trying to monopolize on that one theme. Yes, there are real world Gil’s who have to struggle growing up with a deadbeat Dad but there are a huge number that don’t.
    Let’s hope Mr. Feuti has enough sense to focus on the strip being about Gil’s overall struggles, rather than a bashing of divorced Dads in general. The bashing and horrible portrayal sends the wrong message, is not funny/comical and is a serious insult to divorced Dads who care.

  3. As a divorced father, I’m concerned as well, but I’ve got a lot of faith in Norm and I think he’ll take this in some good directions.
    And, while perhaps it takes a decade or more in the system to realize this (and I’m approaching three decades), there is also an image problem that goes the other direction.
    I tried to form a men’s group once for divorced dads and found it got overwhelmed with the kinds of guys who give divorced dads a very bad name.
    Unfortunately, these bitter loudmouths tend to drive the more reasonable guys away. They’re like the drunks at a football game — not at all a majority of the crowd, but still obnoxious enough to make you want to watch on TV instead.
    But, as said, I think Gil is going to deal with the issue in context and I’m willing to wait while Norm fills in the nuances. It’s only been two weeks, after all.

  4. In the runup to Gil’s debut, Norm and his editor talked about the development of the strip, and some of the changes they had to make in going from an online comic to a syndicated one. Gil is based a lot on Norm’s own life–his father abandoned his family financially, and his mother had to go to work in a factory to support the family. In the web version of Gil, his father was much more of a bigot and a deadbeat–the online version ended with him in jail–and he was softened considerably for syndication.
    I don’t think Norm has an agenda, I think he’s telling his story. Is it any wonder that Gil’s father is less than perfect? Even in the online version, he did try to be a good father on occasion. He just isn’t very good at it.

  5. Seriously? If Norm doesn’t write his characters in such a way that it doesn’t offend anyone it means he has an agenda? I’m a divorced dad and that thought never crossed my mind. I thought, wow, this guy (Gil’s dad) is kind of a selfish prick. Never once considered it an attack by a cartoonist with an “agenda.” Let’s add “divorced dads” to an ever growing, tired list of “groups” we dare not offend. Sheesh.

  6. The word “agenda” is like the word “regime”: It comes loaded with a negative meaning.
    On the other hand, I caught some flak one time for a story set in an 1890s NYC slum, in which the protagonists were Irish but the local store was run by a Jew who wasn’t a very nice fellow. Historically accurate, in that slums were ethnically divided and then, as now, people tended to resent the “outsiders” who came in and set up shop. But I could understand why someone found the unintended “stingy Jew” stereotype offensive.
    Similarly, there IS a “deadbeat dad” stereotype, which is why, as stated, Feuti and Burford worked to soften the character a bit. But, as in the case of the Jewish storekeeper in the Irish neighborhood, there’s also a point at which you create your character and let the readers deal with it.
    The best way to do that is to show more dimensions than one, and that takes time in a comic strip, particularly if the character isn’t your lead. If this were Norm’s first strip, I’d worry about it more, but we’ve seen what he can do in “Retail” and so, as far as I’m concerned, he’s got a pass to work with this potentially explosive character.

  7. Hello,
    Thought I’d follow back up. I’ll try to make this short but it’s going to be difficult.
    Thanks to Mike’s and f’s thoughtful comments, I reflected more on this. I went back and read (numerous times) the interview with Mr. Feuti on MSNBC Today. First mistake – reading MSNBC Today. Second mistake – reading the article the first time, too fast and jumping to conclusions. I think I have a bit better understanding of Gil or rather Mr. Feuti’s intentions with Gil.
    Some background, if you will permit me. I’ve led a very messed up life. I spent ten years of my childhood being severely abused. It ruined my life. I got married too quickly, mainly because of insecurities. I was married for 12 years. The last year I found out my wife was cheating on me. She filed for divorce. My only concern was about my two children. I wanted to minimize the impact of the divorce on them as much as possible. My ex got the house, remarried, and everything stayed the same lifestyle wise for the kids. Same schools, friends, house etc. Plus they got a new Dad who they adore(d) and new pets (cats which I’m allergic to). In the state I was divorced, we were granted “joint custody”. However, she was deemed the “custodial” parent and I was the “non-custodial” parent. “Joint Custody” could be the definition of oxymoron. Child support was calculated solely on my income. We both worked and she had a very good income. But it was not taken into account. I paid $1200/month (two children) for ten years and now it’s at $950/month for one child. My ex works, her new husband has a very good income. There’s a new pool, house has been redone, new SUV’s in the driveway…. I have not remarried and have lived in apartments ever since. I arranged things for my daughters, so they felt comfortable when I had my “allotted alternate weekends”. I planned full activities for us to do together and made every possible effort to be in there lives. I called every night. I went to every sport practice, game – the ones I knew about. My ex never informed me. I remember going to their schools and having to prove to them that I was their paternal Dad.
    And guess what? None of what I did mattered. They rejected me. They didn’t want to visit me. They had their neighborhood friends, pets and new Dad who went out of his way to diminish my role in their lives – along with my ex-wife. She wanted the $’s and me gone. I persist to this day but I am alone and they have their new lives.

  8. A lot of self disclosure which is not a good thing on a social website but I felt some background was needed. The point is, when I read Mr. Feuti’s interview I got upset when I read about a child, divorce and a deadbeat Dad. It struck a nerve because I did everything to NOT be a deadbeat Dad and I ended up losing everything. Maybe Gil’s Dad is scraping the coins from his car ashtray because that’s all he has? Maybe he seems to not care but is so hurt by the divorce that he can’t get himself together? Maybe or maybe not? I think i know where Mr. Feuti is going but I can’t read his mind either.
    Guys, I know what divorce is and it ain’t good. And, I will say that I know nothing about Mr. Feuti, nothing about comic strips, never knew about or read Gil online, and never heard of his strip Retail until I read that MSNBC article. In fact, I don’t like comic strips. I don’t like satire which is “comedy”. I am not a funny or happy guy. Although, I use to get a laugh out of those Cheech and Chong movies but then remembered that I was completely stoned when I watched them. ;-(
    So, it wasn’t about “comics” or really even Mr. Feuti. It was that divorce word, combined with the Dad word, combined with the deadbeat word. It just ticks me off to see what I think is an unfair stereotype especially when I personally tried to do everything right. Yeah, I know – I’m taking a comic strip way too personal…
    I was reading the Gil Facebook page this am and someone commented – “Gil’s dad seems pretty sitcom stereotypical at this point. I hope he gets an opportunity to grow”. I think that sums up a good chunk of how I feel regarding the comic strip itself.
    So, I jumped the gun initially and realize I drew some incorrect conclusion. Apologies to Mr. Feuti.

  9. Have to parse in 3, wouldn’t do it all in one…
    Now, the word “agenda”. Yes, perhaps too strong? But making the word “agenda” analogous to the word “regime” is a huge stretch, Mike. When I hear the word “regime”, the only thing that comes to mind is North Korea and the late Kim Jong il’s fat face. What I meant by “agenda” is that Mr. Feuti is (I think) using the Gil comic strip as a way to express his childhood experience. I guess I was inferring that Gil was part of his way to express how he felt about his Dad. Using it as a “forum” for that with the end goal to make money? But hey, he’s good at what he does and deserves to be successful. I guess, in reality, it’s very hard to fault him for that. But I was disturbed that it may be seem to portray all divorced Dads like his. Agreed, “agenda” is not the right word. Don’t know what really is the right word though. As Mike wrote – “The strip is not about divorce. The strip is about Gil, and, like all kid strips, and like all kids, that leaves a lot of plotlines open to explore”. I think that is what it should be too but am not really sure. But again, as Mike said, “it’s only been two weeks, after all”. Though, I won’t be around to know.
    Also @Owen – When I first read your second comment, you know what was the first thing that came to my mind? This guy’s a “prick” (your word). I have no clue on how to write a comic strip and sorry that I gave the message I did or that I could write a character that was non-offending to everyone. I lack creativity and would have no idea where to start even if it was possible to do. Also, if you knew me, you would know that I’m the last person to accumulate and track a “a tired list of groups we dare not offend”. In fact, I’m a self professed “homophobe” and don’t believe in “gay marriage”. So there, I offended 50% of the country and I could seriously give a f*&%^k. If I don’t like it, I’ll say it. I’m the “prick”. That’s why I wrote my first comment about Gil. Sheesh.
    Anyway, that’s it I guess. Oh yeah, @ Mike, I spent the first 17 years of my crap life living in Nashua. Yep, an old victorian house on Concord St. A severely abusive childhood but a very beautiful victorian house and a very beautiful state. Family even owned a cottage on Lake Winnipesaukee. Truth.
    Well, my foray into the world of comic strips has ended. I wish Mr. Feuti the best with Gil. Also, I’ve tried this internet/social media stuff for a bit now – music blog, google blogs, a wordpress blog and tumblr. Twitter and Facebook just totally annoy me. Fail, on every count. Conclusion: Social media is not for me. Social anything in fact.
    @Mike – I like your style of writing and how you make it interesting. I’ve read a lot of commentary/reviews in my life but most are just mundane writing. Kudos.
    I’ll probably leave this comment up for the day, max.. Then, if I can, delete my posts. I have no need for a Typepad account and would rather have what I wrote go away.
    Peace

  10. D –
    Don’t feel you have to delete your comments. Own your opinion – that’s cool. I love a healthy, robust debate, where people can disagree vehemently about something and then wink and get a beer. It’s rare to find a place, either online or in “real life,” where that can happen. Mike has said some very kind things about my work when he felt it appropriate and also called me out when he felt I was missing the mark. There’s nothing wrong with honest, reasoned criticism. I’m an atheist and I play ice hockey with a hard core evangelical – we can have some real arguments in the locker room but on the ice we can look at each other and know what the other is thinking in terms of strategy.
    Oh, and at my low point as a divorced dad I was living in a room at a seedy hotel downtown, stealing ketchup packets from restaurants to mix with water to make pasta sauce so me and my two kids could have “spaghetti night” on Fridays.
    Finally, if I offended you on any level, I apologize. Life’s too short.

  11. To Owen’s words I would only add “Hang in and stay cool.” You’d be surprised the number of kids who, at some point later in life, suddenly have a “wait a minute” moment and recalculate.
    When that happens, you want to be the person who was cool — who didn’t forget birthdays but who didn’t grovel and pester for a level of relationship the kid wasn’t ready for yet, as well as the person who didn’t badmouth the other parent and make a tough situation even harder.
    And I agree with Owen about the value of owning your opinions. Besides which, Norm is a big guy with broad shoulders. If you’re gonna lose your shit, better you should do it in his direction than towards your boss, your family, a new GF, a new puppy, the cop who was only going to tell you your brakelight was burned out …

  12. Ditto what Mike just said. Both of mine had such moments. Of course, I did some recalculating, too, and that helped a lot.

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