CSotD: We’re Not At War, So Don’t Forget It
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(It’s just a manly phase we’re going through.)
Lieutenant Dangerous points out that we’re not at war with Iran, because, if we were at war, the president’s 60 days would have run out and he’d have to go to Congress to get permission under the War Powers Act to keep blowing things up.
We were doing Operation Epic Fury, but that ended with the ceasefire. Then we did the Liberty Project, where we tried to get the Strait of Hormuz open, but that ended when we decided to blow up some more things.
They were thinking of naming the new not-a-war “Operation Sledgehammer” but it was already taken by another testerone-heavy warrior franchise, and, besides, they’d just gotten an angry posting on Xitter from Katy Perry for using one of her songs on one of their war vids.
Dear Leader had also been criticized on Xitter by Sen. Tammy Duckworth for compiling bogus footage that included clips from Mortal Kombat and Grand Theft Auto, as well as Top Gun and Braveheart, along with actual scenes from what, remember, is not a war.
Senator Duckworth, who has seen the real deal close-up, opined that
War is not a f—— video game. Six Americans are dead and thousands more are at needless risk because of your illegal, unjustified war.
Though, as we now know, four of those dead weren’t actually killed in warfare, because their deaths occurred after Operation Epic Fury but before the new not-a-war, and so are classified not as KIA but as killed in “Overseas Operations,” along with a few hundred other Americans who were not wounded in a war because we’re not at war.
Ostrove suggests that accounting is difficult, but Dear Leader knows all about accounting, since he sort of graduated first in his class at Wharton School of Business and received honors that were super-secret and weren’t listed on the commencement program.
The Iran Whatever It Is was sold to Americans as a quick and easy, in and out operation that, within days, would bring the mullahs to their knees, force their resignations and free their people, but it turned out to be the warfare equivalent of a three-hour-cruise, a three-hour-cruise, and, as Smith suggests, the more Dear Leader attempts to untangle things, the more knotted-up it all becomes.
Not to worry, however, because Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu has come to America and will meet with Trump and explain the whole thing, which was reportedly his idea in the first place. Netanyahu has a sharper perspective, because, while Trump’s party is facing midterm elections in November and he could lose his Congressional majorities, Israel will have them a week earlier, and if Bibi’s party doesn’t do well, he’ll be completely out of power and could be facing criminal charges.
Which tends to focus the mind wonderfully.
Granlund is mostly joking, because, while Trump does present himself as something of a magician, it’s not clear that he’s ever promised an exit other than one in which the Iranians throw up their hands and surrender.
He compared the Iranian Overseas Operation to the wars in Afghanistan and Vietnam, noting that we’d lost far more people in those wars than he has — so far — in Iran. What he didn’t mention is that the lesson of those two wars was not about numbers of dead but about the futility of attempting to subdue people who are willing to endure any amount of pain rather than submit.
Which, Golding contends, becomes particularly problematic when the person attempting to conquer is willing to inflict any amount of pain rather than admit that he bit off more than he could chew.
As for receiving pain himself, the fellow who somehow avoided serving during Vietnam reminds me of a poem by Siegfried Sassoon, a World War I veteran who was known as “Mad Jack” for his daring exploits between the trenches, until he changed his mind and became ardently opposed to the war:
If I were fierce, and bald, and short of breath
I’d live with scarlet Majors at the Base,
And speed glum heroes up the line to death.
You’d see me with my puffy petulant face,
Guzzling and gulping in the best hotel,
Reading the Roll of Honour. “Poor young chap,”
I’d say — “I used to know his father well;
Yes, we’ve lost heavily in this last scrap.”
And when the war is done and youth stone dead,
I’d toddle safely home and die — in bed.
Sassoon’s portrait of a distant, rear-echelon major seems somewhat in line with Matson’s analysis of how Dear Leader plans to get out of the Middle East sand trap, because note that before he takes that step, he will have mangled and destroyed all his clubs attempting to chip his way to the green.
Matson’s imagined scene isn’t so far from reality, according to Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilley, who, having golfed with the president, told Nicolle Wallace that Trump simply cannot stand to lose, and will cut any corners in order to emerge a winner.
Cheating at golf and telling tall tales about his prowess as a student are harmless enough, but Slyngstad suggests that Trump has built an administration around this same mendacity and installed dishonesty as a feature, not a bug, in the federal government.
Tom Tomorrow elaborates on Reilly’s analysis and Slyngstad’s accusations to suggest both the depth and the seriousness of what is a great deal more than merely a “lack of transparency” but amounts to intentional deception and willful dishonesty.
But don’t assume a November blue wave. Polls indicate a ghastly drop in Trump’s approval ratings and predict a massive defeat for the Republicans in the midterms, but we’ve seen actual turnout for elections reverse statistical expectations.
As noted here before, loyalty is, for many people, a powerful and addictive way of establishing an identity. Even a sports team that can’t win a game can still fill the stadium, sell jerseys and share in network revenues.
Anderson borrows the excitement around the Odyssey to pose a critical question, which is, with gasoline back over $4 and little relief in sight, whether the homeowner is going to bring the wooden horse across his threshold in November?
Now here’s the earworm I planted earlier.
Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.
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