CSotD: Friday Funnies
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I'm not too sure about parchment paper, but bulldog clips — as seen in this Barney & Clyde – are the greatest. For the cost of one of those plastic bag clips that will break the first time it is dropped, you can get a whole jar of bulldog clips that will hold bags closed and will last forever.
But, of course, that's not what they're for, so you shouldn't use them that way.
I guess.
Thank god I live alone.
Back at the dawn of time, when "The Apartment" came out, someone wrote a column defending Jack Lemmon's character for using a tennis racket to drain spaghetti.
I can't defend the actual practice, because back in those days, O Best Beloved, tennis rackets were made of wood and had to be kept in presses to avoid warping in moist air, and their strings were gut, which wasn't actual cat gut but which would respond to boiling water more or less as the pasta had.
So that was a joke.
But the gist of the article was that you shouldn't get hung up on what things are intended for if they work for what you need them for, and I'm firmly behind that.
And I do have some parchment paper because the last time I visited my kids in Minnesota, my daughter-in-law showed me a recipe that makes fried fish without deep-frying, which I would point out is also not how God intended it, but, since that only calls for the parchment paper as a pan-liner, you don't need to further defy God's will by using bulldog clips to hold it in place.
(If you head for Staples based on this recommendation, be sure to get all medium-sized clips. They like to package them in mixed sizes and those little ones are good for nothing except holding paper together and who the hell circulates documents on paper anymore?)
Timing on the current Sally Forth story arc was excellent, because Denver Comic Con was this past weekend and I had a reporter there who — bless her heart — took lots of cosplay photos but focused her actual article on interviews with artists.
I have no problem admitting that I don't get cosplay, and I certainly agree with Ted that I don't get it for extended periods in hot, crowded venues. But, then, I'm not sure how much I get Comic Cons in general because they seem radically off-topic, what with all the movie promo stuff and so forth.
Also I'm not sure we're even allowed to call them Comic Cons anymore, but I'll let them sort that out.
Years ago, I wanted to go to San Diego Comic Con, but was told even then that the shark had done been jumped, which is a shame because now I've got free housing in the area.
But, anyway, if I went, I'd go as myself.
Though, granted, when you do that, it makes the answer to "Who are you supposed to be?" a lot more complex.
Still on the topic of costumes, Mark Anderson expresses some definite truth.
In fact, this cartoon could spark a whole posting, because the metaphors are tremendous which is why the fable has lasted all these centuries.
On a literal level, if a wolf could dress as a sheep, he'd be successful. White dogs — komonodors, pyrenees, anatolians — tend to be for protection, because the sheep accept them as "one of us" and stay close, while dark dogs — pulis, border collies, kelpies — are drovers, because they're avoided by the sheep as "other."
So, if he dressed like a shepherd, he'd have to pursue his meal rather than having it lie down beside him, so there's that. But, as he suggests, if he rounded them all up, he could eat them at his leisure.
Metaphorically, we call this "dressing for success," but nobody talks about that anymore because those who get it don't have to be told and those who don't get it never will.
Which is also something that has lasted down the centuries.
And it's probably not best to follow a discursion on sheep-eating with this Rhymes With Orange, because it does kind of suggest a practical solution to Noah's logistical issues and I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intention, though there may be some level of awareness here, given that only other herbivores are depicted.
Also, one assumes that the lead time on the comic means it is not an obscure reference to Venezuela's latest plan to fight hunger, summed up thusly:
“There is a cultural problem because we have been taught that rabbits are cute pets,” Urban Agriculture Minister Freddy Bernal said during a televised broadcast with Maduro this week. “A rabbit is not a pet; it’s two and a half kilos (5.5 pounds) of meat that is high in protein, with no cholesterol.”
Maduro's critics are ridiculing the plan, and I'd have to suggest that, if Noah has pairs of lions and tigers and wolves and such on board, depending on two breeding rabbits is equally impractical.
And this Ben may have puzzled Yanks who live very far from our northern border, because it's a distinctly Canadian gag: Canada quit making pennies in 2012, though they're still out there in some stage of atrophy.
It's hip to hate pennies, but I don't, unless I'm behind someone in line at the grocery store who insists on giving the cashier exact change, and then it's not the pennies themselves that I hate.
Fact is, there are very few places where I use cash: My barber, who is old school, and then places like the bakery outlet because I feel guilty costing anyone a bank charge for something under five bucks.
Even the laundromat has card-readers and my jug of coins has barely grown nor diminished in months.
I have a feeling Ben's grandson's kids will be totally puzzled by all the colors and sizes of those metal disks.
Though some folks will never grow tired of them …
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