CSotD: From ‘master plan’ to ‘no mas’
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Well, that didn't go very well, did it?
Matt Wuerker imagines a dialogue between Paul Ryan and John Boehner, the joke being that Boehner kind of stuck Ryan with the job when it was only somewhat thankless, though they both ended up being made fools of by their own party.
It is a kinder, gentler take on the pair than in October, 2015, when he commented on the actual handover, which was somewhat along the lines of the person on "Let's Make A Deal" choosing what was behind the curtain instead of holding on to the washer/dryer.
Wha-wha-whaaaa
Oh well. Have a glass of merlot, Paulie.
I wasn't sitting on the edge of my seat watching intently. I had wrapped up my weekly deadlines early and decided to work on my taxes yesterday while the pundits nattered on, so I'd know when the vote itself was coming.
But I was paying some attention, because what had once seemed like it would be the first major blow to the gates delivered by the Trump juggernaut was starting to look like the first major test of who was on board with this revolution and who wasn't.
And then it started to look like the first major defeat for the rebels.
And then it wasn't even that. They really did take their ball and go home rather than stick around to find out how badly they would lose, and it was such a moment of bathos that it didn't even feel worthy of schadenfreude, much less celebration.
Well, I celebrated: This was the first self-employed year I've had enough cash to pay my income taxes without going into my IRA, so that was something.
It's also the first time I've ever said, "Thank god I was doing taxes or this wouldn't have been any fun at all."
Mostly, I thought of Horace: "The mountains are in labor; the result is a ridiculous mouse."
Juxtaposition of the Day
Plante and Kal chose nearly-matching metaphors to pick up on the absurd denials that followed, with the most interesting part being that this is the first time Trump has down-played a margin rather than exaggerating it.
And they would have brought it to the floor, but Nancy Pelosi was busing in phony congressmen to vote against it.
Trump decried the lack of bipartisanship and whined noted that no Democrats were backing the measure, and it was true, though trivia buffs may observe that, by some fantastic coincidence, that's the exact same total as the number of Republicans who backed the ACA back in 2010.
And, Trump and Ryan both explained, they were only a few votes shy of victory, which, by another fantastic coincidence, is precisely as close as Jon Lovitz ever actually got to being married to Morgan Fairchild.
Or even Freeman.
Maybe we need a third cartoon, in which the referee is giving the fighters their pre-fight instructions at the center of the ring as a towel comes sailing in from one corner.
And as long as I've brought up one comedy bit from the 1980s, here's another: PeeWee Herman's "I meant to do that."
That excuse will probably play well to Trump's hardcore base, but seems unlikely to cut the mustard even with a staunch conservative like Gary Varvel, who suggests that perhaps there was a lack of coordinated vision within the party.
This is a telling indictment. We've been hearing for weeks from the other side of the aisle that the GOP spent seven years complaining about "Obamacare" and voting to repeal it and promising to replace it and then, given the power to actually do so, had no alternative in mind and no real plan at all.
But to have the accusation rising from their own party faithful does not bode well.
And it's a particularly bad sign because their recovery from this defeat should hinge on passing their tax reform act, except that the details of that measure, pundits say, were predicated on the financial advantages gained in the proposed health care reform.
They are either going to have to retreat and rethink their next move, or charge forward with yet another piece of ill-considered, unworkable, grand-standing legislation.
I think that, by now, we know which is more likely.
Meanwhile, back at the Kremlin
A domestic triumph might have distracted people from the ongoing foreign policy issue and whether or not our relations with Russia are, in fact, "foreign policy" or just another private, personal arrangement by the Big League Wheeler-Dealer.
David Horsey suggests that we not lose focus on what the GOP is desperately hoping we won't notice at all, while Clay Jones, in both cartoon and column, suggests we get on with it before all the witnesses have accidentally fallen out of windows or been the victims of random unsolved shootings.
Historic Sidenote:
This coming Tuesday is the anniversary of the Battle of Glorieta Pass in 1862, a small but pivotal battle sometimes called "The Gettysburg of the West."
The Confederates had a plan to bring an army up out of Texas, seize the Colorado gold fields and then head west and take California, which would give them both capital to trade with and a selection of seaports unfettered by the Union blockade.
However, having taken Santa Fe, they ran into a small Union force backed up by a few hundred Colorado militia at Glorieta Pass, and, while they were fighting to an inconclusive victory on the battlefield, one band of the Colorado volunteers circled around behind them and destroyed their supply train.
Bad things happen when you fail to make sure your rear end is covered.
So despite having nominally won the battle, the Rebs were forced to retreat to Texas and never mounted another serious offensive in the West.
Ponder that lesson over a second glass of merlot.
Or a 10th glass of beer.
Beer goes particularly well with foolish, fatal screwups and vain regret.
(Okay, maybe just a little schadenfreude.)
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