CSotD: Dog bites man — Our exclusive coverage!
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So the cartoons are coming in, the weepers and the "Congress does nothings" and the "What will it takes?"
Yes, what will it take?
What will it take before we quit lying to ourselves and pretending we care?
Jimmy Margulies got it right. In fact, as newspapers seek ways to cut costs, I think they could benefit with a whole series of pre-set "Forever" front pages, including:
Powerball Frenzy: Jackpot Hits (insert number) Million!
Snow Paralyzes Region!
Stocks Soar On News!
Dow Falls On News!
Gun Massacre!
I used to try to persuade editors to follow a simple rule for covering snow storms: An inch of copy for every inch of snow. In our county, we got nearly 74 inches of the stuff every year, and I just didn't see a snowstorm as rising to the level of stop-the-presses all-out-coverage news.
And it wasn't like our coverage was going to change the fact that, jeezum crow, every winter it sure does snow, there, now, don't it?
Nor were we going to get any fresh quotes by bundling up and going out and talking to a new selection of the same old people shoveling out their same old cars. Nor were we going to win a Pulitzer for yet another shot of somebody going to the office on cross-country skis.
The Powerball coverage is simply a matter of pandering to the mob, and, incidentally, an advertiser. But the mob likes to be pandered to as, incidentally, do the advertisers. Which is key to why newspapers waste everyone's time doing it. Giving people what they want is sort of central to most business plans.
Ditto with the whimsical blips of the Dow. I had no luck persuading editors that the stock market is simply Fantasy Football for business nerds and that, whenever the Fed changes rates, or promises to, the business nerds react just as their FF counterparts do when Tom Brady jams his thumb or Adrian Peterson tweaks an ankle.
Nobody seems to care that there is a difference between what happens over one day and what happens over a year, in terms of the overall economy, any more than they care that it snowed last year and it's gonna snow again next year when it'somigodsnowingrightnow!
And you know what? I'm willing at this point to concede that it's hopeless.
Stocks rise, stocks fall, snow storms happen in the winter, people buy lottery tickets.
And screwballs with guns shoot people, sometimes one target at a time, sometimes in large numbers.
It's not news, or, at least, it isn't worth cancelling our normal programming.
It isn't worth sending out the reporters for yet another interview with a grieving family member or another shot of flowers piled up around a fence or yet another shot of crying people comforting each other.
Yes, we all grieve. It's so sad.
We also get verklempt over some little kid on American Idol and we get outraged over whatever pop star drops drawers on camera and we throw theme parties for the Grand Finale of Downton Abbey or Breaking Bad or Mad Men or whatever, using the special theme-party recipes in the food section this week.
And then the next day, we go back to whatever we were doing.
Ditto with shootings.
We all cringe and cry and sympathize and are horror-stricken and say "what shall we do?" and demand action, for about a day.
But we don't actually, really care.
Every mass shooting is the one that's gonna do it, the one that's gonna push it over the edge.
And yet it never, ever is.
Not even Newtown. Certainly not this one. What's the difference? Nothing. There is no difference.
It snowed. People had to shovel out their cars. Some powerlines came down. Somebody skiied to work. Some guy with a gun shot a bunch of people.
Two days later, back to normal. And it's gonna snow again.
And crazy people with criminal records will buy guns and shoot people and we still won't care.
Oh, we care in polls, sure. The vast majority of the American people want background checks and reasonable restrictions and some oversight and they want this insane pattern of murder to end.
Unless they have to actually do something about it.
Out in Colorado – home of Columbine and Aurora — the gun crazies managed to recall two legislators for supporting very moderate gun laws that were supported by the majority of people polled.
Those very moderate gun laws just weren't supported by the majority of people who were willing to get the hell off their asses and vote.
Despite the amount of money spent to persuade them to support good government and sane policies and to vote to make things the way they claim they want things to be.
Yes, there was voter suppression. Yes, the NRA is powerful. Yes, the gun lobby holds sway over our government.
But the bottom line is this: If people cared, they'd have shown up. And they didn't.
If the gun lobby owns your senator and your representative, it's because you and your fellow citizens elected someone the gun lobby could own.
Some of you did this by voting, some of you did it by not voting, but it was a group effort that reflected the will of the people.
If you care, you're there. Silence implies consent. Absence speaks louder than words.
The people who care show up. The rest don't care. End of discussion.
We want crazy people with criminal records to be able to purchase guns. If we didn't, we'd have stopped it by now.
Quit your wailing. Miley Cyrus is on.
Tell me every detail, for I've got to know it all,
And do you have a picture of the pain? — Phil Ochs
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