CSotD: The Artless Dodger
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On the Fastrack, one of Bill Hobrook's three daily strips (!), is office humor, which tends to be a little tedious, but Hobrook has mitigated that threat by centering on high tech humor and letting the Dagwood/Dithers cliches at least play out in a more focused arena. There are days it is incredibly geeky and days it is more accessible to a general audience, but it always maintains a little bit of insider flavor, which builds reader loyalty. Those who get it will love it and those who don't can shrug and move on. It's a smart ploy.
I've faced this one from both sides. As an employee, I've sent out the resumes and, as a manager, I've found them in the printer. The entire thing is a puzzlement, because of the central foolishness of the action.
To start with, when you work at a newspaper, it makes sense to try to sneak around and create a resume on your computer at work, since you've got access to some incredibly powerful and sophisticated formatting software there that you wouldn't have at home. Then again, unless you're applying for a job as a graphic designer, you don't want a visually whiz-bang resume — simple is better. As frustrating as Word can be when you're used to Quark and InDesign, it's just a matter of putting words on paper. The risk is not worth the convenience.
(Let me digress here for a moment: I've advertised positions and received beautiful resumes full of action words, printed on expensive, ivory-or-is-it-ecru textured paper and enclosed in mauve, die-cut folders. None of these were ever from qualified applicants. They were from people foolish enough to sign up for workshops in how to craft an effective resume, which are like books on how to win at blackjack: The business model belies the claim of expertise. If the person is so skilled at finding great jobs, why she is running around giving $30 workshops? Still, while the applicant may not have the good judgment you were hoping for, it's clear that they will do whatever they are told. Depending on the position, this might be a fit.)
In any case, you're silly to risk showing your itchy feet by putting a resume together at work. Once you've tipped your hand (and shown your lack of discretion), you'd darn well better conduct a successful job search, because your present company won't be investing much more in your happiness. The training program in California, the upgraded computer and the new office chair will be awarded to your successor and not soon enough.
As a manager, I have, yes, found resumes in the printer. And at one paper where I was an editor, the archiving software was configured such that, when a story was called up, it was then re-filed by that date rather than by the date it was created, even if it hadn't been modified. This design flaw meant you could only find stories by keyword, not by date, which made for terrible archiving. But, from a management perspective, it had a benefit because, when you saw a host of one particular reporter's work suddenly appear at the top of the pile, you knew somebody was planning to jump ship.
What makes this joke work particularly well is that Art, the fellow in this particular strip, is the office slacker, whose job is only secure because his wife is indispensible. Of course, he'd be the one sending out his resume on the company software on company time and probably not on some webmail of his own but from his company email account. The joke is, why would you want to discourage this?
Twice, as a manager, I lost key people who were very hard to replace, both professionally and for what they added to the office chemistry on a personal basis. In both cases, they came to me and told me they needed to move on, for money reasons or because it was simply time to step up. In both cases, I understood and even agreed, but was very sorry to see them go.
But, in both cases, they weren't the kind to leave their resumes in the printer.
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