Comic Strip of the Day Comic Strips Editorial Cartooning

CSotD: Educational Humor

First, this update: Infantino has withdrawn his cunning plan to sell off part of FIFA to a consortium. Seems the universal hatred of the idea got through to him.

That’s why people should speak up. On a related note, the public comment period for the FCC’s attack on the ABC network’s owned-and-operated stations has ended. According to CNN’s Reliable Sources, the comments “exceeded 150,000, with more than 95% supporting the stations.”

We’ll see if the administration is as perceptive as Infantino.

I wasn’t aware that the rules of halal do not prohibit mixing meat and dairy. I got the bacon part. But I looked it up and it turns out that, while a cheeseburger can’t be kosher, it can be halal.

When I was in San Francisco for the AAEC conference two years ago, one of my Uber drivers was a young Afghan saving money to start a halal slaughterhouse with a Muslim friend who knew the business. It’s an expanding opportunity, assuming the fascisti don’t deport, jail or kill all our former allies.

Shoulda been a moose. Deer are light brown and their eyes are reflective, so if you’re driving at a reasonable speed, you’ll usually see them in time. And if you don’t, they only weigh about 125, so if one damages your car, ask, and the Trooper can either tag it for your use or arrange to donate the meat to a local food bank.

Moose, however, are black and their eyes don’t reflect. They’re also somewhere about 850 pounds and tall enough that, instead of bouncing off your bumper, they’re apt to fall over the top of your car and crush it. And possibly you.

And while deer tend to run across the road, moose will stand there and watch you approach.

Drive carefully.

Bears, on the other hand, are considerably less dangerous than their reputation suggests, and if you avoid them, they’ll return the favor. They will dump your garbage cans and trash your bird feeders, and if they get inside your car, they’ll strip it to the metal, but they’re mostly destructive rather than ferocious.

The blackies, that is. If you’re out where the brown bears and white bears dwell, you’re on your own.

If the only outhouses you’ve encountered were in public places with heavy traffic, it might surprise you to know that, at a cabin or private home where there aren’t so many people using them, they’re not so bad. Shovel in a little dirt from time to time, sprinkle in some lime and then dig a new pit and move it every couple of years.

A friend of mine said that, when their farmhouse got plumbing, his grandfather continued to use the privy. He understood how it all worked, but he’d been raised that “You don’t sh*t in the house.”

Hard to argue with that.

When the boys were little, I used to make up silly things all the time to amuse them and myself, but, as seen here, there is an element of trust that will override the most ridiculous nonsense.

The big one, the continuing foolishness, was that I told them I had saved the life of the King of the Squirrels and that, as a reward, he’d given me the power to understand them. Then, when we were walking around, I’d see a squirrel and say, “Hi, Steve.” Like Wallace, they knew it was nonsense, but, then again, well, I was Dad and so there was that element of trust involved.

They did figure out that I couldn’t make red lights turn green with a command, that I was watching the facing light to see when it turned yellow. I took that as a sign they were growing up.

There’s a difference between lying and storytelling. I wanted them to at least laugh, even if they kept looking in the mailbox, just in case.

It’s your obligation as a parent to teach your kids to be curious. Curiosity is the hub around which everything else is built.

Betty is appalled that her son spends so much time staring at his phone and seems to know so little about the real world, the starting point of the strip’s current story arc.

Junior isn’t a slacker like so many other comic strip kids. The sequence seems to be more about Betty feeling guilty for not having done enough to widen his horizons. Fair enough.

When Jan Eliot retired, she asked me if there was an original of Stone Soup I’d like. Took me no time at all: July 11, 2012 now hangs over my desk.

I understand the need to work and I don’t come down hard on people for having latchkey children. What bothers me is what I call “Mowgli children,” who are ignored and left to be raised by wolves.

Val’s late husband didn’t take Alix fishing as an educational project. He did it because he loved her and wanted to do things with her. The types of fish they caught are not the only thing she remembers.

My best move as a Dad was to read to my boys every night. They’d pick a book, then I’d pick a book. We read both Alices and all of Narnia and Little House, Indian in the Cupboard, the Rats of NIMH, George MacDonald …

When eldest was in junior high, the Odyssey was in their curriculum, and, despite having drifted off a few times during that classic, he had a flash of “Wait a minute — I know this one!”

It’s not what you read. It’s that you read.

This takes me back to junior year in college: I had an apartment with a chair and a sofa in the living room. When I’d bring a date back there, if she sat in the chair, we had a conversation. If she chose the sofa, well, we’d see. I’m also aware of the number of times someone said, “No, I’d better head home. I’ve got a lot of reading for tomorrow.”

No harm, no foul. Clarity is the best policy.

And not dating idiots. That’s an excellent policy.

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 17

  1. I, too, make a distinction between lying and storytelling. The problem is that my audience doesn’t always realize it. I thought that stories about waking up in a women’s dorm wearing nothing but socks and a bra, or that the civil rights division of my county fined me for having separate places for white and colored Solstice lights would be so over-the-top that nobody would believe them, but no, someone did.

    I have the same problem with newspaper comments–now I always make it clear that I’m joking. Not as much around here, though.

  2. My wife was going to lunch with a Muslim colleague from Morocco who knew that she’s Jewish. When she ordered her salad without bacon, the colleague was surprised “Pork is forbidden?!?!” Because in a country with lots of coast and no pork it’s the refusal to eat shellfish that distinguishes kashrut from halal.

    1. We need a “wow” button. Cool insight.

  3. My son-in-law hit a bear driving at night in the UP recently. They do considerably more damage than deer as well. The bear ran off into the woods…no word on whether it survived or not.

    Another time riding at night in the UP along with said son-in-law and my grandson, I realized that my grandson saw twenty deer to every one I saw and I have avoided driving at night there ever since. Around home as much as I can, too.

    1. One of my colleagues was covering a similar bear/car accident and did a no-no, putting in a joke for the copy desk, which ended up in the paper: “The bear refused treatment at the scene.”

      He’s now the paper’s editor.

  4. Thanks for the mention, Mike. I can’t think of a better home for that strip and I’m honored.
    My dad travelled quite a bit for work, but in the summers we spent weekends at Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. We had a funky little cottage, built in the 30s, and a small aluminum boat with a 15 horse power motor. Dad would take us three kids out to fish, and spent all his time baiting our hooks and taking the rock bass, perch and bluegills off our hooks. Alix is me at 9, and her love of water and creatures and exploring come from that lovely childhood.
    Best wishes, Jan

    1. Here’s looking at you, kid.

    2. Jan, Thanks for the wonderful Stone Soup- it was terrific, heartfelt and funny, but this specific comic was my favorite.

  5. Two adult black bears and two cubs were found dead Wednesday morning along Interstate 25 about five miles south of Santa Fe New Mexico. One of the adult bears was found on an overpass with a creek running beneath it, making it likely they were in the area to take advantage of the water according to authorities. (probably a semi-truck involved in the hit and run).
    Meanwhile in the city of Los Alamos last week, after climbing a tree to gain access, a black bear broke in through a window into second story bedroom where a couple were sleeping their infant child. They managed to scare the bear off. In 2001 a 93 year old woman in Mora County N.M. died of multiple bite injuries from a bear attack that took place in her kitchen.
    As for Moose, like Elk (adult male 600–1,200 lbs.), they stand tall enough to end up swiping off a car’s windshield in a collision, along with the A pillars that frame it and support the roof, all of which help protect the occupants. Incidentally, Volvo pioneered moose-crash design and safety testing. https://bluewaterhealthyliving.com/news/local-news/michigan/volvo-pioneered-moose-crash-safety-testing-it-saved-a-drivers-life/ (Volvo has one of two of the world’s only moose crash test dummies)

    1. When I was editing a paper in Maine, the Troopers sent out a photo of a police car that had hit a moose and was completely flat along the line of the door frames — like a convertible covered in crumbled sheet metal. The officer managed to dive quickly to the passenger seat and emerged unhurt, but it was sent as a reminder to the public of what you didn’t want to have happen. I wish I’d kept it.

      And black bears often come off on the wrong end of things, from car crashes to being put down because “a fed bear is a dead bear.” As I wrote, “they’re mostly destructive rather than ferocious” but it’s best not to be one of the exceptions.

      Bears are bright enough to take an exit if one is offered. Moose, by contrast, are massive, short-sighted and stupid and can be belligerent. They’re magnificent animals, but best seen from a distance.

      1. My favorite insight into bears’ brains are came from a Yosemite park ranger talking about the challenge of building bear-proof food and trash containers: “There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”

    2. Mythbusters did an episode on hitting Moose. Outside of stopping or swerving in time, you are going to have a crushed car. Fast, slow, or a moderate speed collision ended in the same outcome.

  6. In Ohio, along the interstates, deer can jump over the right-of-way fencees and panic-run into the road Sometimes they jump again and go through the windshield. Few survivors there.

    1. A friend of mine told the story of being very lucky in a collision with a deer.
      The deer landed in the empty passenger seat.

      Lots of luck…. good luck that he wasn’t hurt, bad luck that it occurred at all..

    2. A group of friends and I were driving in the Shawnee National forest in southern Illinois in the late 70’s. A large deer came out of nowhere and jumped cleanly OVER the top of our moving car. It was spectacular!!!

  7. Entertaining BS isn’t lying. I’ve only been called on it once and everyone said, “What’s HIS problem? He’s never heard a tall tale before?

  8. BS is kind of a competitive sport in my home town of Guide Rock, Nebraska. My cousin, Randy, and I used to team up on our unsuspecting “victims” when we were kids…one of us would tell a tall tail and the other would confirm and embellish it further. And we would just keep going, building this incredible pile of BS, until the victim said “No Way!” or we both broke down laughing.

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