Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: Death be not proud

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Mike Peterson Published: September 29, 2012 1 minute 2 comments

Speed Bump tackles the issue of the end of the story as it is told and end of the story including the tying up of loose ends.

Overthinking cartoons is part of the primary mission here, and the fact is that the urn, not the cremation, is the problem here.

(Note: Everything that follows is in excruciatingly bad taste.
That is, if I've done it right.)

I've told my kids that I'm coming home in a coffee can and that, as far as ceremony goes, they can gather in the cemetery at midnight with a post-hole digger for all I care, as long as they don't use a Magic Marker to put my name on the stone.

I'm not particularly sentimental: A place to be and my name on the stone is about the limit of my requirements. I figure 65 bucks ought to just about cover it.

Aimee Semple McPherson was reportedly buried with a telephone, just in case, but I come of more pragmatic stock. I suppose it's the phlegmatic cultural tradition that was bundled with that Scandanavian Y-chromosome of mine.

I remember going to the funeral home with my father when his father had died, for the task of picking out a coffin. Although my grandfather's death was long anticipated, my dad was, of course, in deep grief, but still, when the funeral director mentioned the option of an inner-spring mattress, we both knew better than to glance at each other.

Perhaps I can explain it with a little story:

A woman walks into a taxidermist's shop and lays two monkeys on the counter. "They were so close in life," she says, "that when little Bonzo died, Daisy's heart broke and she died two days later."

"I see," the taxidermist says. "And you would like to have them mounted?"

"No," she replies. "Just holding hands."

And the more monkeys you have to deal with, the greater the problem.

I think Mad Magazine dealt with the simian disposal issue in a sendup of "King Kong," but, looking around, it wasn't the classic Will Elder version from Mad #6, nor Don Martin's take on the classic.

However, whether it's a giant or a giant monkey (yes, "ape," I know), the bottom line is that somebody is going to have to do something with it.

Not this:

Fortunately, while some of us may shrug off the topic of death as a sad but inevitable inconvenience, there are people who are trained to handle things with a great deal more delicacy, sympathy and tact, starting with their professional and sympathetic treatment of the bereaved.