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Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: Semi-classic: Saturday Morning Breakfast Serial

Published: March 11, 2012 1 minute 13 comments

Smbc

"Semi-Classic" in today's title means that this is actually yesterday's Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal but I'm on the road this morning and what with the time change and all, I figured being off by 24 or 25 or 23 or however the hell many hours it is wouldn't be taken amiss or even, perhaps, noticed if I hadn't just pointed it out.

Particularly if it were a funny cartoon, which I hereby declare this to be.

I'm astonishingly naive about this sort of thing. Or maybe I'm just too realistic and being hung up on the fact that I never knew any of this sort of thing to actually occur is robbing me of some good campus legends to laugh over.

I discovered at my 10th college reunion that, among some of my more macho classmates, I had carried a reputation for … um … success in romance … that was wildly undeserved, simply because I hung out at the coffeehouse over at the women's college and consequently had a lot of female friends.

Apparently, the guys had lied to each other to such an extent that they honestly believed that most guys who went out with a girl for pizza ended up having breakfast with her, too. Or maybe it was my guitar and long hair and too great a faith in all that free-love horsepucky that TIME Magazine kept prattling on about.

But, for whatever reason, they had grossly overestimated my pizza-to-pancakes conversion rate.

Which misunderstanding I quickly corrected.

Ha-ha. Just kidding.

Anyway, I don't know how often professors actually experience this kind of direct quid-pro-quo approach, and the young women I knew who were having affairs with professors were not, for the most part, having affairs with the actual professors from whom they took courses. 

Which I realize doesn't exactly commend their judgment, older married men still being, after all, older married men. I'm not trying to host a debate over whether schtupping a guy to pass a course is better than having an affair with him thinking that he's going to divorce his wife and abandon his children for you. 

And my own marriage only lasted 13 years, so I don't know the secret to keeping things going for half century, except that I've been in the homes of people who have been married that long and I didn't see any trapezes mounted on their bedroom ceilings.

In other words, I think this whole thing might be a joke.

Which theory would explain why I laft.

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Comments 13

  1. I have been enjoying your daily analyses for the last few weeks, but this is the first time I feel prompted to store one of your turns-of-phrase for future reference: “pizza-to-pancakes conversion rate”. My economist friends are going to love that. Wait. Do I have any economist friends? Does ANYBODY have any economist friends?

  2. Well, one of my colleagues is married to an economist, and I consider him a friend. However, she and I are both medical librarians, so you might need to take that into consideration.
    Great comic, too. Especially if you imagine his speech done in a world-weary rolling bass voice.

  3. “…I don’t know how often professors actually experience this kind of direct quid-pro-quo approach…”
    Here’s an anecdotal datum for you in that regard. I’ve been teaching large-enrollment, general-education classes since 1973. A very rough estimate of the total number of co-eds (heh, heh) in those classes runs into five figures. The total number of such sex-for-grade offers I’ve had in that time is…
    … hang on a minute, while I go back over my calendars and fire up the calculator…
    Okay, and remember this is an estimate: Zero.

  4. … which is also about as often as I’ve sat behind my desk wearing a jacket and tie with a huge book propped up on my desk like that. Maybe there’s a connection; I’m going to have a jaundiced view of my colleagues who wear ties from now on. (I’m pretty sure there are one or two.)

  5. He got your hairline wrong, too.

  7. As for the turn of phrase, there’s a Greek curse that comes with it — I asked the gods for great wit, since I knew that women go for a man who can make them laugh.
    And so Aphrodite granted my petition, but then Artemis stepped in and punished my lustful male motives by decreeing that it should only be sharp at 5 in the morning, which was great for blogging but dictated that nobody would ever be around to actually hear it unless the conversion had already taken place.

  8. You sure it was Artemis? Sounds more like Coyote to me.

  10. You’re still alive. Must have been Coyote.

  11. I once had a female student say they’d “do anything” for a good grade after failing the first exam. I described the ideal studying process–taking notes, reading the chapters ahead of time, taking notes in their book, etc, etc….
    ….never saw that student again.

  13. Kieran Meehan cracks me up on a regular basis, but that one really did the job.

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