CSotD: Any more questions?
Skip to commentsThere was a joke going around the Soviet Union, back when such a place existed, about an attempt by the leader to burnish the image of the central government.
I'm sure the role of leader in the joke was as quickly re-cast to remain current as the role itself was recast in reality, as that nation wound down from the Bad Old Days in a progression from Brezhnev to Andropov to Chernenko to Gorbachov.
So (insert current name) decides that the way to soften the government's image is for him to personally visit one of the collective farms and mingle with the folks.
They choose a farm not too far from Moscow but far enough away to be considered truly "the countryside," and he arrives with cameras and security and entourage, and makes a speech to the gathered workers, thanking them all for their hard work and telling them of the wonderful advances he sees coming.
Then he asks if there are questions, and a voice shouts out, "What has happened to our tractor?"
The security men, acting on decades of repressing such impudence, begin to move towards the fellow, but the leader waves them off.
"No, no, the concerns of the people must be heard!" he says, and looks to the man who called out. "What is your name, tovarich?"
"Andrei Ivanovich."
"And what do you mean about this tractor?"
"We have been promised a new tractor for several years, but we have never seen it. I want to know what has happened to our tractor?"
The leader turns to an aide. "Make a note of this," he says. "We cannot impose new quotas on our farmers unless we provide them with the equipment they need! You shall have your tractor, Andrei Ivanovich, and I thank you for bringing this to my attention!"
He takes a few more questions and then goes back to Moscow, delighted with his foray into public relations.
And so a year later, he decides to repeat this wonderful event, and they go back to the same farm where he was so warmly greeted before.
He makes his speech and asks for questions, and again a voice shouts out from the crowd, "What has happened to our tractor?"
"Ah! Andrei Ivanovich! It is good to see you, my friend. Did you not get your tractor?" He looks around at the crowd and there is some nervous rumbling, because, indeed, they did not.
He turns to an aide. "This oversight must be corrected at once! Bad enough we should have let it go for so long in the first place!"
Then he turns back to the crowd with a smile. "I thank you, Andrei Ivanovich, for bringing this to my attention, and I promise you, you shall have your tractor!"
A few more questions and back to Moscow, but, the next year, once again he comes out to the farm and makes a speech, once again he asks for questions, and once again a voice shouts out from the crowd.
"What has happened to Andrei Ivanovich?"
*ahem*
And now, in a related story …

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