CSotD: Minirant Materials
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Today's Argyle Sweater may provoke cheering as well as laughter from an apparently growing group that despises the "Elf on the Shelf," a relatively new, manipulative way to drive home the message that love is dependent on your behavior.
That's always been part of the non-religious aspect of Christmas: He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. But, as this religious blogger notes, "The whole idea of a gift is that it is freely given. A 'gift' that is given in return for good behavior is not a gift. It is 'payment for services rendered.'"
And I certainly agree with him here: "I thank God that this theologically obscene 'elf-on-the-shelf' trend wasn't around when our kids were little."
Then again, in a world in which we line up at a children's fair to have our kids fingerprinted, send them to schools where their lockers are searched without probable cause, and in which their email and phone calls and ours are regularly logged (if not actually monitored) by the NSA, what the hell.
We're just preparing them for life in a world in which there is no "reasonable expectation of privacy."
And letting them know that, in this world, if life doesn't seem to go your way, it's probably your fault for being such a bad person.
Though, really, it's nothing that a little Cialis and a trip to Jared wouldn't solve.
Classic rant inspired by classic art
That freaking, creepy little plastic snitch may not have been around when my kids were little, but today's This is Priceless brings back a particularly toxic message that Sesame Street used to dump on their innocent little heads.
The difference here is that, while having the shelf fall on the elf would be wonderful, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Snuffie. I just want the Sesame Street Strangler to pay a late-night visit to those so-called friends who refused to believe Big Bird when he said Snuffalupagus was real.
I don't remember how many years poor Big Bird had to put up with everybody laughing at him, refusing to believe him, demanding proof and insisting that he was making it all up, but I found the whole thing distressingly negative.
Finally — finally! — Buffy Sainte Marie came on the scene and said she didn't need "proof," that Big Bird was her friend and that, if he said there was a Snuffalupagus, that was good enough for her.
Every kid should have a friend like Buffy. In fact, every kid should be surrounded by friends like Buffy, but we know that isn't how the world works.
Still, sometimes a kid has something important to talk about and really needs to be believed.
Snuffalupagus and Buffy are real. Those other friends are imaginary.
In the news …
Wumo — this one, not the one at Gocomics — is unintentionally relevant today for those of us within news-shot of Burlington, Vermont.
The airport there combines municipal service with a wing of the Vermont National Guard, and they just got an upgrade from F-16s to F-35s. While that is seen overall as a positive for the local economy, there is substantial complaining from people who live in the flight path.
Apparently, these are genetically modified jets, or perhaps they have been vaccinated, but, in any case, people who bought homes in the flight path of an airport served by both F-16s and full-sized commercial jets are now horrified at the prospect of a different kind of jet landing and taking off there.
When I lived across the lake in Plattsburgh, and when there was an active air base there, we referred to that disturbance as "the sound of money" and were only disturbed when it stopped.
I guess I'd be more sympathetic to someone who had bought a house on an alternative flight path that is only used in occasional, specific weather conditions, but then they would only be inconvenienced on those rare occasions and probably wouldn't complain so much.
Granted, I was even less sympathetic when I lived in Colorado Springs and the complaints about airport noise were coming from people who had bought houses on Jet Wing Drive. I wish I were kidding.
And, finally …
There are many reasons to hate Penny Arcade, but today's strip goes from grin to chuckle to guffaw. I hope the elf goes back to the North Pole and tells Santa to mix at least one piece of candy in with all the coal he'll be leaving them this year.
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