Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: When you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose

We
Willy & Ethel pretty much sum it up.

There's a certain type of person out here in the country who will beep the little beeper and lock their car to go into a store or the post office, and everyone turns their heads at the sound.

It's a little insulting, really. We weren't going to rob you. What do you think we are?

But mostly, who do you think you are?

Have you got the Hope Diamond in your glove compartment, or maybe the Ark of the Covenant?

Gimme a break.

Nobody's gonna break into your car and steal your box of Kleenex, your little neck pillow or that Jim Nabors CD.

And I always figure, hey, if somebody wants to break in, just open the door and have a look around. Don't smash the window, too.

As Ethel says, they'll figure it out.

I did have someone go into my car, about 20 years ago, and pull out a bunch of stuff. Most of it was found about two miles away, in a ditch. Somebody called to let me know. A few things never turned up, but it certainly wasn't enough to file a claim, because the total value was less than my deductible.

I don't even have that car anymore. The stuff inside would have been long gone by now anyway.

When I was living in western Maine a few years ago, I was reporting on a murder in the very small town of New Portland, which has just under 800 people spread over just under 44 square miles of rolling hills and forest. I was trying to ascertain whether the murder had been a robbery or perhaps a quarrel, or whether it was random.

There aren't a lot of random murders anywhere, and fewer still in the country, but, still, people need to know whether they should be scared or not, and I told the police investigator this. I didn't want information that would compromise the investigation, just a hint of whether it had been personal or if there were some kind of homicidal maniac wandering around.

His response was that "whether you're in Portland or New Portland, you should always lock your doors."

Later, I was talking to some people at the post office, trying to get a sense of things, and I mentioned that crime-fighting tip. They all laughed at the idea, saying they didn't even lock their houses when they went on vacation, and one man remarked, "If I ever locked my doors, I'd have to break into the house myself. I've got no idea where the keys are."

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Irrelevant to this posting but of considerable interest anyway: Jimmy Johnson is in the final stages of producing the first Arlo & Janis collection in 30 years, and today is the last chance to pre-order and get in on the initial printing. No need to pay now, but a chance to get your name on the list and a good chance of having a copy in time for the holidays, rather than later. Go here.

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Comments 5

  1. Used to be like this up here, still is in the little town in Eastern Iceland where my brother lives. I do lock my house (and car) though.
    Got told by a taxi driver the other day that no burglars bother breaking in any more, they just walk round and see if there’s an unlocked door anywhere, and normally they find one after a short search. Somebody tried that in my house last year but we were home, my husband heard someone coming in and went to check, the guy had this unlikely story of wanting to see someone he thought lived in our house.

  2. Depends on where you live. Around here (Maryland, just outside Washington, DC), everyone locks their cars. I lived in one neighborhood where I’d have to step over the broken glass if I wanted to go to the 7-11 for a paper, and my truck was broken into twice in the two years I lived there. Once they stole something, once someone just threw a rock through the window. If I’d left it unlocked, it wouldn’t have been there in the morning. My current neighborhood is a lot safer–the only thing I’ve had stolen is a basket of flowers from my front porch–but I still lock my van. It’s mostly from habit, but it’s not a habit I want to get out of.
    Paranoid? Who told you I was paranoid? WHO’S SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT ME BEING PARANOID???

  3. Wish I hadn’t (out of habit) locked my car in the mall lot the day I decided to take my wallet, but leave my purse. I knew there was nothing of value in the car, but the person who broke my window to grab the purse didn’t. Besides the glass, I lost my appointment book, which in those no backup paper days was significant to me, but like the glass, not claim worthy.

  4. Anne, I never get that far into a strange, same-model car. I usually stop at the point where I say, “Who the hell cleaned up my car?”
    Incidentally, I had a discussion of this posting with my son and had to explain to him that I only use the Andy Rooney illustration when the Andy Rooney portion of the posting fits the little word balloons. When the entire thing is an Andy Rooney rant, I just step back and let it go.

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