CSotD: ROTFADMG
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Finally! A chance to comment on a strip just because it's funny and not have it lead into some endless morass of mind-numbing, partisan political discussion.
So here's Little Dog Lost, and he's wandered onto a farm where the chickens can't figure out why their eggs are disappearing, because the only person with access to them is the farmer, and he treats them well. He built them a nice henhouse, he feeds them, surely he has their best interests at heart.
But slowly, the pieces start coming together in their little bird brains …
… and meanwhile, the pig is no help at all, because …
Wait a minute. Wait just a damn minute.
"Too foolish and naive to connect the dots"? "Too fat and happy to read the signs"?
Is this some kind of a freaking parable?
Because, if it is, forget it. If I want a freaking parable, I might as well just go pull up the latest Matt Bors cartoon:
Yeah, I know, I go to Matt too often. So, sue me, which he could, except that he posted this on Facebook and he never posted that thingie on his page about the Berner Convention (which is where everyone gets together for sessions about the invention of the WWW) and the Rome Statute (which I think is Michelangelo's David).
So now his cartoon is mine! All mine!
Anyway, Matt is keeping the Christ in Christmas, a worthy goal. Granted, he has to re-jigger Scripture a little bit to make his point.
But not as much as the people who actually bitch and moan about the "War on Christmas" have to, in order to ignore the actual message of Christ and maintain their odd duality between worship and shopping, not to mention reconciling "Peace on Earth to Men of Good Will" with their annual outburst of self-righteous, prideful intolerance.
Nothing says "Keep Christ in Christmas" more than a picture of Santa kneeling in prayer at a manger, unless it's throwing a hissy fit over the fact that we not only let Jews shop in our stores, but allow them to celebrate Hannukah and even New Years.
Don't they have their own New Year? Why should they have a happy one of ours, too?
Anyway, it's Christmas. Nothing else. This New Age, touchy-feely, politically correct notion that there might be more than one holiday that could be happy is as ridiculous as the idea that Jesus wasn't all that much in favor of conspicuous consumption and wouldn't approve of running out and purchasing piles of presents while so many go hungry.
Next, you'll be suggesting that there weren't any kangaroos or llamas on the Ark.
And don't get me started about those bloody ducks.
Look: Every part of the Bible is literally true.
Except the parts Jesus said about greed and violence and caring for the less fortunate. Those were metaphors. Or parables or whatever.
After all, Matthew wrote: "All these things spake Jesus unto the multitude in parables; and without a parable spake he not unto them."
And Matthew is the only one of the Evangelists who even mentions expensive Christmas presents. So there you go.
Matthew the Evangelist, Matthew Bors, whoever. The message is clear: Keep Christ in Christmas. Spend money, buy stuff.
And don't say "Happy Holidays." You should say, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and That's All."
It's up to them (you know who I mean) to keep the Han in Hannukah.
Or, y'know, however you spell it.
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