Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: The intersection of pornography and testosterone

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Mike Peterson Published: January 22, 2014 1 minute 2 comments

One of the disadvantages of Facebook specifically and the World Wide Tubes in general is that it subjects us Yanks to having overseas friends ask "What is wrong with you people?"

Mostly when we shoot each other.

Which I think means that they have come to grips with our imperialistic, xenophobic nation-building attacks on other nations and other people, but are puzzled that we can't at least confine our murderous impulses to that.

Right now, our biggest problem is that we're shooting each other at such a pace that cartoonists can't keep up. Still, I like Derf's take.

I have written about this before — and, looking back for the link, I'd say it's worth clicking on not only for my inestimable wisdom but for the cartoons there — but, at the height of the recent Troubles in the North of Ireland, my friends from Belfast and Derry would point out that you were in more danger as a tourist in a major American city than in either of those troubled places.

Of course, their remarks were based on staying out of the danger zones, or, as one of them put it, "There's no danger a'tall, so long as you know where you're going and get there afore dark."

Which fits in with Rick Blaine's advice to Major Strasser, "there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade."

I would assume that Kandahar also has better and worse places to attempt the above suggested stunt, and that fairness requires admitting that the Sochi Olympics are potentially a specific target area.

Still, the idea of anybody asking Americans how to prevent senseless murder is, indeed, laughable.

And the joke is, they didn't ask. We offered.

The notion that Russia requires advice from us on how to monitor people and keep them under control is … wow.

I'd really be insulted if someone else had suggested such a thing.

As it is … just … wow.

I don't know which is worse, that we had the brass to publicly suggest that we could give a former KGB officer a few tips on internal surveillance, or the fact that we probably could.

The popcorn incident, meanwhile, contains its own wow-factors, starting with this: He was texting during the previews, not during the feature.

But maybe there's a "know the neighborhood you've wandered into" factor involved there, too, given that the feature was "Lone Survivor" and not, say, "Walking With Dinosaurs."

That is, if you go to see "Naughty Stewardesses in Bondage," it seems naive to be shocked if a fellow audience member were to, as the expression goes, "whip it out."

Different kind of porn, different kind of whipping it out. 

Still, if you lie down with the dogs, you get up with the fleas.

Or, in this case, you don't get back up at all.

Juxtaposition of the Day, Part One:

(In the Bleachers)

(Tank McNamara)

Growing up, we had a free ski hill in town, operated by the Lion's Club. It was just a rope tow and a couple of smallish slopes, but it was a great place to socialize and there were always people there to take you aside and help you polish your skills.

For more serious skiing, we were 40 miles from a more serious hill and about 60 miles from Lake Placid, though the most serious skiers of all drove the extra hour and a half to Stowe.

So when I went to college in the Midwest, I joined the ski club and we took a bus three hours or so up into Michigan, to a hill about the size of the 40-miles-away hill at home, only with a lack of mid-range slopes that you could gracefully swoosh and schuss your way down.

It was either bunny slope or cliff-diving, which wouldn't have been so bad, except that it became very clear that the point of going at all was to see what you could survive and, the actual skiing itself aside, you practically needed a snorkel to avoid drowning in the testosterone during the bus trip and the evenings in the rented cottage.

I put my skis away for about 15 years, but I still get flashbacks when the Olympics add yet another hotdog sport to their lineup.

(Steve Moore appears to be on hiatus; the "In the Bleachers" panel is a rerun. Not enough to overturn the call.)

Juxtaposition of the Day, Part Two

(The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee)

(David Horsey)

Speaking of murderous pornography and people with a completely obnoxious oversupply of competitive testosterone.

Mister, we could use a man like long, lean, lanky Jones again …

The only thing that can stop a bad man with an evil plan is a good man with a really bad sax.