Oh My God, South Park Just Killed Donny
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Fresh off an approved $1.5 billion streaming contract with Paramount, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, took a blowtorch to President Donald Trump and their show’s parent company Paramount Pictures, in a bawdy season 27 premiere episode.
The episode’s plot revolves around Trump suing anyone who doesn’t agree with him—including the town of South Park, who protest a mandatory appearance of Jesus Christ as part of the president’s push for Christianity in classrooms. The show also takes aim at CBS for settling with the Trump Administration to smooth the Paramount-CBS merger, and canceling The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. In between opening and closing scenes, the show depicts Trump firing a portrait artist for drawing his penis in actual size, wanting to have sex with Satan (who is more interested in releasing the Epstein files), and various wall paintings in the White House of Trump engaging in sex with a sheep, using a glory hole, and firing drones and missiles via his groin.
During a Q&A at San Diego Comic-Con, Trey said the decision to include Trump’s anatomical part took four days to resolve with corporate, and was only resolved when the creators added googly eyes to Trump’s penis to make it a “character,” and therefore could not be blurred out.
“I was like, ‘No you’re not going to blur the penis,’” Parker explained to a laughing audience.
“We put eyes on the penis,” Stone added.
“If we put eyes on the penis, [they] won’t blur it,” he continued. “And then that was a whole conversation with a lot of grown-up people for about four fucking days.”
“‘Cause then it’s a character,” Parker added, with mock sincerity.
At the conclusion of the show, the town of South Park settles a $5 billion lawsuit with the president for a mere $3 million and a promise to create a pro-Trump PSA. The promised PSA is a live-action, deep-fake, AI-generated commercial of a naked President Trump (with aforementioned googly-eyed penis) stumbling through the desert and the slogan: “Trump. His penis is teeny tiny, but his love for us is large.”
The White House spokesperson Taylor Rogers released a statement to media:
Just like the creators of South Park, the Left has no authentic or original content, which is why their popularity continues to hit record lows. This show hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years and is hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention. President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country’s history — and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump’s hot streak.
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