CSotD: Baksheesh at Bernie’s And Other Delights
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Don Jr. and Eric explain the pay-as-you-go presidency, part of a blind trust which means that they control it and Dad has no idea what they’re doing, which indeed sounds like Weekend at Bernie’s.
Not quite dead, nor so blind, but, indeed, shilling his cryptocoins and Bibles and golden sneakers (When I get to hebbin gonna put on my sneaks, gonna walk all over God’s hebbin), but then again if you pay attention to what else he’s saying, you’ll realize that, while he may not quite be dead, he’s not entirely alive either.
Yes, it seems Grandpa has been talking about groceries again:
“We have a term ‘groceries.’ It’s an old term but it means basically what you’re buying, food, it’s a pretty accurate term but it’s an old fashioned sound but groceries are down.”
Of course, groceries aren’t down, but what matters more is that he was speaking to the heads of the United Arab Emirates, who care more about what they can soak him for than about what the little people are paying at a store they’ve never been to either.
In fact, speaking of stores that neither Trump nor the sheiks have been to, Walmart has announced price increases because of the tariffs, though, as Rob Rogers points out, once Dear Leader realized his trade war was making him very unpopular, he ratcheted back to a point where it will only make him somewhat unpopular.
Not, mind you, that these increases will shake the faith of the true believers, though they may grumble a bit.
“True Believers,” mind you, can be an oxymoron. It seems odd that anyone is shocked that the new pope is being condemned for his message of charity, inclusion and agape.
It may be because the mainstream media went a bit overboard over the issue of the conclave and papal succession. The process got a huge build-up but then turned out to be disappointingly simple, and the cardinals should probably have stayed locked up in there and played Catan for a few days, just to maintain reverence for the process.
Or maybe it’s because the fellow chosen was born in the USA! USA! USA! which makes people think he’s not sufficiently exotic, remote and mysterious.
But let’s have a bit of perspective: The people who don’t like this pope didn’t like the last pope, either, and for the same reasons. They’re the perennial rock-ribbed malcontents who want a church that sticks to the old beliefs, except that sacerdotal supremacy only applies if the sacerdote agrees with them.
They seem not to realize that deciding what you think God had in mind began not with Peter but with Martin Luther, or perhaps Johannes Gutenberg.
A Christian who doesn’t accept the pope’s authority is a Protestant, and, if you feel that way, you should own it, for as it was written, “Thou art on the bus, else thou art off the bus.”
Why shouldst I take thy bad trip for thee?
Trump’s allies out in the countryside won’t be able to grumble too readily, since he cut the program that was finally going to bring them into the 21st Century with high-speed Internet access.
The dumb bunnies assume “fairness” is always about race.
I take this personally, since dial-up cost my mother a buyer for the family home a few years ago. They wanted to live in rural splendor while running an on-line business, but it’s one or the other, and it ain’t so splendorous if you can’t make a living.
I had a conversation about this with Olympia Snowe, back when I was an editor and she was a Senator, and she compared the extension of high-speed Internet and cell phone coverage to remote areas with the extension of electricity back in the 1930s.
It’s not just convenience, she said, but a matter of safety and of economic development.
Dear Leader is doing a lot of things that screw rural folks, and there’s a new book out on the topic, but we’ll have to see if farm economies cratering and coal miners losing their black lung coverage will shake the faith of the true believers.
Mostly we’ll see how many of the rural folks who have backed Dear Leader were true believers and how many may follow their own needs instead.
Zapiro reckons that, as long as Trump changes American immigration policy so only white South African refugees are admitted, he’ll maintain the support of his core constituency.
This isn’t just a joke about the militia groups squirreled away in the mountains of Idaho. Dear Leader is seeding the state with nine of the 50 Afrikaners, in line with a chief goal of the administration’s refugee policy to “admit only those refugees who can fully and appropriately assimilate into the United States.”
Well, yeah.
I once began to schedule an Idaho militia for my talk radio program, until I read the information they sent and decided to let my competition in Denver handle the topic.
Madam & Eve have their doubts about that assimilation thingie …
… but Lalo Alcaraz notes that we’re making some adjustments that should make them feel more comfortable here.
It’s not just those tired, poor, huddled Afrikaners who are being welcomed. We’re also extending the red carpet to others who help make our tourist industry strong, as long as they only stay a few days and have their papers in order.
We’ll even offer them a free ride to a nice time share in sunny Central America. Stay free! Meals included!
Speaking of tourists, see the hearty welcome extended to Dear Leader by the Middle Eastern nations on his recent vacation there. They made lavish preparations for his visit, since, as Jennings suggests, they saw him coming.
Two grifters, out to steal the world! There’s such a lot of world to steal!
We’re after the same rainbow’s end, waiting round the bend,
My autocratic friend, bin Salman, and me!
But a different song for our new neighbors
You may remember when singing this would get you in trouble in South Africa. It’s okay there now, but if you sing it here, ICE may ship you off.
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