CSotD: Substitutions
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Company Man gets top billing today out of sheer luck and good timing. I haven't tried Halo Top, but I picked up a bag of Beanitos the other day.
Beanitos is a bean-based Cheetos knock-off. I was on the road and just wanted something to eat in the car, and I'll say this: If I'd picked up a bag of actual Cheetos, they wouldn't have made it back to the house, but those Beanitos lasted for several days.
If you asked your parents to pick up some Cheetos, these are what they'd come home with.
Your mother would buy them because they're healthier and your father would buy them because they are different and he was curious.
So I've become my father. Fair enough. He was a good man and today is his birthday, so here's to ya, Dad.
But I'm also still myself and I wanted some goddam Cheetos, not these things which are only "cheesy" in the negative sense.
Meanwhile, if I intended to get curious about Halo Top, Company Man has scratched that itch. But I went online to find out more, and started reading this review that admitted to not being terribly enthusiastic about the stuff, but said that some flavors were better than others.
However, I got about halfway through and the reviewer declared something "Deelish!" and I realized it wasn't a dude, because guys don't talk like Rachel Ray, whose "Nutrish" dog food, I am fully convinced, is formulated for purse-dogs.
Which is okay, except that women spend so much time dieting that they learn to compromise and to settle for things that at least aren't completely disgusting.
And nobody'd ever get married if they didn't (rimshot), but I looked for a review by a guy and found it here.
I'll bet he'd say the same thing about Beanitos if someone paid him to eat them.
Which someone will have to do if they want me to do that again.
There used to be a series of commercials for some coffee — Folger's, IIRC — in which people in restaurants were served coffee and then told it was instant, much to their surprise and delight.
Swapping Beanitos for Cheetos, or Halo Top for Haagen Daz, would, I'm sure, be just as convincing.
I can't find it, so here's a better commercial in its place:
Now, onto things that actually could kill you
Mike Keefe doesn't pop up in my feed very often, but he makes it count when he does. He's not the first to comment on Dear Leader's reliance on Fox & Friends instead of his briefers, but the way this is set up gives it a swift descent into bathos that made me laugh simply from the drop.
It's elegantly laid out, not simply in the listing of the three branches but with the addition of the homunculus on the White House roof. Nicely done.
And Jeff Boyer comments on Trump's refusal to seek competent — rather than "famous" — counsel. It's not so much that he acts as his own counsel as it is that, whatever his lawyers and other advisers tell him, well, they might as well explain it to Mike Pence's rabbit for all the good it does.
Though somebody seems to have gained his ear, perhaps with a pinching thumb rather than the voice of reason, because his Twitter feed has suddenly gone mostly silent and almost totally boring in the past few days, though he did tweet the other day:
Which shows he's still got the magic, given that he's crowing over one day's upswing when the three-month trend looks like this:
Which leaves me wondering whether he's trying to pull a slick one or if his handlers simply kept him from seeing the Dow until it went up for a few hours.
Juxtaposition of the Day #1
The evolution of John Bolton from a major architect of what may be the largest, most destructive blunder in American history, to TV host, and then back to White House advisor, has fascinated a lot of cartoonists because he has a big, goofy mustache.
And, y'know, likes to start wars despite not having served in one when he had the chance.
But the Matts offer some insights here on his value as a colorful distraction, Wuerker in his customary combination of sarcasm and realpolitik and Bors with his usual suspicion that there is a cunning plan at work.
I fall between them — pretty sure it's less nonsensical than Wuerker's absurdist take but convinced that this collection of chickenhawks and Ayn Rand groupies couldn't conspire to order a pizza.
That's a fine line, but, then again, we've seen an actual evil conspiracy at work and this is nothing like the Cheney Administration. I think we're back to blundering into disaster rather than intentionally leaping into it.
A distinction without a difference when the body bags are coming home.
Juxtaposition of the Day #2
Fortunately, for my peace of mind as well as for the country's actual fate, there are the kids coming along to save the day, and I'm hoping they can bell the cat in 2018 and expel the cat in 2020 and that we'll all benefit from their energy and dedication.
And I would point out to that Congressional aide in Ariail's cartoon that a lot of these kids are indeed old enough to vote and are organizing registration drives and that, in any case, their grandparents stopped a war and drove a president from office before they were old enough to vote, then capped it off by amending the Constitution so that the government could never again send young people off to die before they had a voice in that government.
And you can deal with their limited, reasonable demands or you can insult them and ignore them and trivialize them and condescend to them and piss them off.
As the man from Fram warned, change the oil filter now or replace the engine later.
Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.
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