Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: New Week, Same Stories

First Dog points out that, indeed, the whole world is watching. That wouldn’t be so bad if we were some obscure country nobody really cared about, so they could watch what we’re up to, snicker and shrug it off.

But ever since WWII we have set ourselves up as the Keystone of the Free World, so nobody can afford to snicker and shrug us off.

And note that First Dog posits a scenario in which “the USA collapsed and had to stop interfering with the rest of the planet’s business.” That’s really the only way we’d stop being a keystone, and no matter what happens Nov 3 and in the 2028 elections, we’re not collapsing.

We’ll still be a large, powerful, dominant nation, and the problem is that, even if we wiped Trump’s name off everything, tore down that stupid ballroom and went back to feeding the hungry and tending the sick, there’s no reason for anyone to think it couldn’t all come roaring back in 2032.

We need to clean up our act, but we’ve already permanently lost any trust the rest of the world had in us. As well as any we had in each other.

Jimmy Stewart doesn’t live here anymore.

I was impressed with the number of Gen Z’s who registered for the primaries here in New Hampshire and expect to see even more when I work the general. Since they all chose the same party, I think Spaulding is off the mark in thinking any of them are still trying to make up their minds.

But as noted before, I decided a few years ago that, since I’m now retired, I’m released from a journalist’s ethical restrictions and joined a political party. This unleashed a flood of junk mail, and though I de-registered two years ago, it’s still coming and my phone is now getting texts urging me to donate to candidates from all around the country.

My phone suggests STOP as a predicted response to these texts before I even type the S, which is what makes it a smartphone.

I bought my first peck of apples and jug of sweet cider last week and have stocked up on sharp cheddar. It’s early in the season and the macs are so crisp that you risk gum recession if you bite into them whole, so the best move is to pare them into pieces, do the same with the cheese, and eat them together.

But it’s a seasonal delight, because no matter how well they are stored, apples quickly go from crisp to mealy, and while Granny Smiths hold their texture, they’re not as flavorful as macs, northern spies and the rest of the best.

Oh well. Don’t be sorry that they’re going to become mealy. Be glad that, for a brief, shining moment, they were crisp.

I got a personal laugh out of this because shortly after my mother moved out of the Adirondacks, she asked me to pop back there and retrieve the contents of her safe deposit box. My name wasn’t on the papers, so there was a lot of bureaucracy for me to get permission and she didn’t have the key, which required them to drill the lock.

Which they did, only then realized they’d inverted two digits and had drilled into the wrong box. This meant they had to summon a witness from their staff, then contact the owner of that box and confess that they’d not only drilled into the wrong box but had (gasp!) glimpsed its contents.

When I say “confess,” it hardly meets the level of prostration involved, and when I say my needing to get into Mom’s box triggered a whole lot of paperwork, it paled beside the mountain of bureaucracy their error set off.

Double-check your numbers and don’t lose your key.

More of a sigh than a laugh at the memory this touched off. Small-town journalism often reveals stories within stories, and I ran into a case where two young fellows were busted for stealing a bicycle. I knew one of them, who was being raised by an uncle up our way, since he’d become too much for his grandmother to handle down in the city.

He was an awfully nice kid but not high on the genius scale and explained to me that he hadn’t stolen the bike. He’d just held the door open for his friend who wheeled it out. But they were both convicted and sentenced to a stretch in the local lockup.

One of the sheriff’s deputies told me that as they processed him, he asked what time the bus would come each morning to take him to school.

Yes, it does explain recidivism, but, as said, more in a way to make you sigh than to make you laugh.

Juxtaposition of the Day

Bernard Pillsbury did not become wealthy by playing the sucker, but he goes well beyond explaining the astronomical numbers by providing a down-to-earth example of the foolishness involved. Citing the multimillion-to-one odds doesn’t help because the numbers are too large to comprehend, but his example can be grasped, and then Clyde brings it into even sharper focus by pointing out the number of idiots involved in the enterprise.

And Pearls goes after the growing predictions market, which combines the foolishness of gambling with the foolishness of playing a game that can be hacked. Pastis may have been inspired by the case of the White House employee who did basically the same thing, placing bets on Trump speeches which he’d seen while loading the TelePrompter.

I bought a few football slips from a kid whose uncle was connected, but although the profits weren’t going to the Little Sisters of the Poor, the game was just predicting winners and losers without odds or point spreads. And it helped me as a journalist because I got to know the uncle and gain some insights into the local mob.

But the more complex world of fantasy football and, now, predictive gambling, frequently puts you in the position of rooting against your own team, which completely alters the reason to watch the games.

Speaking of rooting against the home team:

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 10

  1. Actblue is responsible for giving your contact info to any D candidate that wants money for their campaign, which is all of them. Ban emails and block texts that have Actblue anywhere in them. Then send a form response to the candidates that says you won’t support any candidate that uses Actblue’s platform, then block them. It works. The Spam drops off dramatically. I was getting 5 Begging Spams a day, all with the word “urgent” in them from some candidates.
    I also wrote Actblue, and told them I was doing that, but they can’t really be reached, because they don’t want to be bothered any more than you do. They have a Send list, but a ban on receiving. Who wants to be lobbied, even for good causes?

    1. I asked AI if the donation for the specific candidate actually went to that candidate and the answer was that it goes into the same pot and is then allocated to whoever they want to give it to.

      I also asked about those matching donations, where the matching money comes from and was told it comes from the pot of previous donations.

  2. My take on the powerball is, it’s worth two bucks to up the odds from Nope to finite but really tiny. I appreciate the B&C’s understanding that there’s more to how much you’d win than just the odds.

    1. I agree that “you can’t win if you don’t play” but that doesn’t mean I have to play all the time or more than one ticket at a time. For me, that works out to ~$10/year and lets my wife fantasize about winning.

  3. Reading First Dog really depressed me. Around my house, people are always asking whether our country will be able to recover from the Trump era, and if so, how long will it take? I hope you’re right that we won’t collapse. Maybe the midterms will shine some light on this current dystopian hellscape.

  4. Man, First Dog’s cartoons are always a little wordy, but they’re worth taking the time to read.

    Yes, MAGA doesn’t care about all the awful things as long as it doesn’t happen to them. They don’t much care that Trump himself is a POS with a long string of failures and loose morals. But now that their pocketbook is suffering they suddenly have found their scruples.

    America’s reputation on the global stage has been damaged, perhaps beyond repair. As you said, we’ll still be a mighty empire for the foreseeable future, but we are indeed less a “city on a hill” and more like something from ‘1984’.

    And yes, we may breathe a sigh of relief once Trump is gone, as we did in 2021.
    But, that relief was all to brief, as we all know what happened in 2024. What concerns me is that unless some major reforms are put in place (which I doubt) there’s really nothing stopping the next Donald Trump from coming along, and will likely as not be even worse.

    Because even after Trump is gone, the people and ideologies that put him in office will still be here.
    And that’s terrifying.

  5. One classic bit of lottery strategy is to avoid playing 19 or 20. Those two numbers have exactly the same probability of showing up as any other, but selecting them may group you with people who play their birthdate, increasing the likelihood that you will have to share your winnings among a larger group.

    A freak occurrence nearly five decades ago emphasized the stupidity of playing “popular” numbers. The numbers drawn in the German lottery on 18-Jun-1977 were exactly the same as the numbers drawn in the Netherlands lottery in the previous week: 9, 17, 18, 20, 29, 40. This unusual circumstance revealed how many people had been playing the same idiotic strategy (meaning they entered the most recent Dutch numbers on their German lottery tickets). Instead of one person winning a jackpot worth 6 million D-Mark (about $2.7 million USD), a whopping 205 players won a paltry 30700 D-Mark each (around $13000 USD).

  6. So glad to see a fan of macs. They’re often hard to find in the northern suburbs of Chicago. They definitely took a drubbing at Apple Rankings (https://applerankings.com/mcintosh-apple-review/), but I think that’s a combination of most of the US wanting sweeter and sweeter apples, and someone who loves to spin lines like “this tumour-swollen reindeer nose has perhaps the thickest most intractable skin of any apple this side of the Prime Meridian”.

    1. If I only got macs in a distant city, I wouldn’t think much of them. The point of the cartoon was that there’s a huge difference between crisp and mealy. Macs don’t store very long or travel very well. It’s like judging oysters by having eaten them out of a can.

  7. From this Canadian, thank you for posting Canadian comedy for the second day in a row! Yesterday was a vintage clip of The Kids In The Hall, today This Hour Has Twenty-Two Minutes, featuring Mark McKinney, former Kid In The Hall, as Mark Carney and Mark Critch as that orange guy.

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