Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: It’s a Grand Day for Kvetching

Start the day with a very old memory. In first grade, we got straws with our milk and we got butter on small plates on the cafeteria tables. In those days, O Best Beloved, the paper wrappers on straws were loose, so if you dipped one end of a wrapped straw in the butter, you could blow on the other end and shoot the wrapper up to the ceiling, where the butter would make it stick.

The ceilings were tall enough that the janitors could not just reach up there with a broom to sweep off all the straw wrappers, so the cafeteria ceiling was festooned with straw wrapper stalactites.

Straw companies now wrap their straws in tight paper, wiping out the only part of first grade that I enjoyed. Oh well. I wasn’t planning on going back anyway.

Juxtaposition of Thandi

I often pass up the requests for product and service evaluations, but having nurses in the family has given me pause, because when I mentioned declining to fill out the form for our local hospital, they were appalled and said those evaluations impacted promotions and pay.

So now I complete the ones from the hospital and don’t feel guilty about not completing others that don’t appear to judge whoever served me.

Good thing we didn’t have them for going to the principal’s office, though, because I was a frequent flyer in high school.

Rhymes with Orange notes the eventual impact of AI on readers. Part of it is, as they suggest, an inability to process writing of any length, but the other aspect hinted at is the inability to process beauty. What I’ve seen of AI writing so far is just as flat and bland as the art it produces.

However, while our gummint seems unwilling to deal with the perils of the stuff, schools are reacting and taking steps to keep kids in the real world as much as possible. Of course, they can’t keep kids from using AI at home any more than they can keep them from smoking dope in the bathroom between classes, but making an effort sends a message.

They’re imposing Band-Aid solutions that will help, like delaying when kids begin using computers in class and confiscating phones during the school day. Less homework and more in-class writing would be a genuine solution, but it would require going to longer periods on a MWF/TTh type of schedule.

They could and some do. And I would give the ones that do a very positive evaluation.

Juxtaposition of the Day

Funny that both these appeared on the same day, but even stranger that I was just involved in a conversation about having to remove your glasses for your driver’s license photo, which brought up an old joke:

Cop at traffic stop: You’re supposed to be wearing glasses.
Driver: But officer, I have contacts.
Cop: I don’t care who you know. You’re supposed to be wearing glasses
.

It was funnier when contact lenses were relatively new, but now you have to remove your glasses for the picture so they can capture your irises and provide biometrics, which is for Big Brother and isn’t going to have anything to do with whether you were speeding or failed to come to a complete stop at the intersection.

It’s been a long time since the DMV issued a license with anyone’s eyes closed, and young Michael may be secretly subverting the system by refusing to have his irises entered into the record.

Juxtaposition of the Day #2

I’m a Loose Parts fan, but he’s got this one wrong. People who don’t pick up their dog poop don’t do it at all, much less bag it and purposely abandon it.

When you see an abandoned poop bag, it’s likely because the person meant to pick it up on the way back and either forgot and took another route, or was talking to someone and didn’t notice it, which is a good reason to use colorful bags instead of plain black ones.

As for aluminum cans, we dogwalkers pick them up. We started coming to this particular wooded park 15 years ago after Hurricane Irene wiped out another popular dog park, and our frequent foot traffic has led to less litter, including not just cans and bottles but needles, crack vials and condoms.

But here’s a solution: If you’re seeing a lot of abandoned bags, you should petition your parks service to put out more poop bins so people aren’t as tempted to leave their bags rather than tote them for an unacceptably long distance.

Friendly parks attract friendly people and friendly dogs. Both can be trained, if you make the effort.

I’m not sure when heat became a flavor, but somehow it became a Thing.

Back in the ’60s, we used to laugh over the fact that, while we considered it tacky to brag about how much you drank, it was quite common to brag about how little you had to smoke of your excellent weed. Then everybody took up hot food and life became a contest to see who could tolerate the most heat. Accordingly, actual flavor became irrelevant.

My first encounter with green chili was at a very unfancy bar in Colorado. Green is just a color, but this particular chili got its color not from tomatillos but from jalapenos, which was how I learned about food that “burns twice.” It turned me into a noncombatant in the heat wars, though I prize hot food with actual flavor.

However, I’ve noticed that our grocery stores carry “mild” and “medium” salsa and you have to really search for “hot,” which I assume means that the hot food escalation is largely over, at least out East, because if they could sell heat, they’d stock it.

You can make your own at whatever heat you prefer, and it’s easy: Making pico is a common chore for Chicano kids, which I’ll bet is how they learn to wash their hands before touching their eyes.

By the way, if you didn’t celebrate yesterday, you missed Mexican Independence Day, but you can eat the food anytime.

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 15

  1. Re: “…see an abandoned poop bag, it’s likely because the person meant to pick it up on the way back…”
    You are giving those inconsiderate louts far too much credit. I have seen so many of those abandoned bags that I am sure that the laziness is intentional.

    1. Why would they go to the trouble of carrying bags and scooping the poop if they didn’t have the sense to deposit it in a bin? They’d just leave it unscooped in the first place.

      And again, the solution — even if they’re lazy and not absent-minded — is to have more bins so they can drop it off quickly.

      1. I’ve always figured it has something to do with whether the clod thinks someone else is watching or not.

      2. Just 100 yards from our house there is a trash bin that has a dispenser for free poop bags right above it. A couple years ago, vandals destroyed the bin, and it was several months before the city (noticed and/or) got around to replacing it. What happened in the interim? Idiot dog owners bagged their poop, and deposited the bags on the grass next to the metal post, thinking that the city should still be responsible for picking up and disposing of the poop bags. I am fully aware that most dog owners are wonderful people, but some of them are irresponsible jerks with (dog) crap for brains.

  2. My aunt made her own hot sauce, and needed to put socks over her hands upon retiring for the night.

  3. I taught high school English for eleven years. I had students do all their writing in class. I wanted to see what they were writing so I could coach them on elevating their writing. We did fine with fifty minute periods. It can be done. The main challenge is getting them settled in and started.

  4. P.s.: Happy Constitution Day(while it lasts)!

  5. I have to agree with Alan and Paul. we often see abandoned poop bags on trails and around our neighborhood. I can’t understand that there is any logic with leaving the bags. It’s just ignorance and laziness
    if they know the diseases the dog poop spread they would probably give up their dogs. This is one of my pet peeves.

  6. Our elementary school lunchroom (also our auditorium) had a 12 foot acoustic ceiling. It was festooned with pencils sharpened to a razor point then shot up with rubber bands to stick forever. Or…until you were about to take a bite of your food and one would fall into your plate.

  7. Our most clever classroom trick was folding metallic gum wrappers into strips and sticking the ends into wall sockets. We could short out the lights in a classroom, hallway or gym until the janitor reset the blown circuit breaker. Great fun. To make things even more exciting, there was an element of danger. If you used a finger to push the wrapper ends into the socket instead of a pencil, you would give yourself quite a shock. A mistake made only once.

  8. We really are heading towards a ‘WALL-E’ future, where everyone stares mindlessly at their screens while robots do the actual work (and thinking)

    Bizarrely enough, I actually did just come across a neatly-tied bag of dog-doo while on my evening constitutional last Monday. It struck me as odd, most people would just leave the doo untouched and call it a day.

    The whole “hot peppers/sauce” thing is rather niche. Sure, you can find super-crazy hot stuff out there, but you have to actively look for it. Most people are more concerned with flavor.
    That said, I always make it a point to use “hot” seasoning and salsa when making tacos. It still tastes good but it needs that kick.

  9. I’ve run into the same picking up litter in the wildlife refuge. Cans, fast food and fishing equipment packaging all stuffed into the convenience store plastic bags they came in and tied off and then left on the ground right next to signs saying “No garbage cans. If you pack it in, pack it out.”. At least, I don’t have to go boondocking through the underbrush to pick it all up. Fisherfolk told me it’s because their mamas didn’t raise them right.

    1. That’s littering, not absent-mindedness. When we first began going to that park, we found junk all the time. One of the women began bringing a grocery sack to pick up broken glass and she often filled it in about a mile and a half. But we all picked up litter and still do, but there’s not so much of it anymore because I think litter attracts litter.

      Incidentally, when I say “we,” we have a self-run Facebook page and, when the town passed a leash law, we petitioned and got a leash-free area about the size of a football field. We even did a pass-around and raised matching funds to get a new picnic table. We’re in steady touch with the parks superintendent and the boss of the power dam the park is built by. Organization matters.

      1. You’re right, litter attracts litter. As an experiment, I hung a garbage bag on one of the signs. People still littered but about two thirds of the trash was in the bag.
        I still don’t get the psychology of carefully bagging it up and then just leaving it there.
        Kudos to you and your group. I can’t get anyone to help from our neighborhood group.

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