Comic Strip of the Day

CSotD: The Augean Stable Genius

Trump’s attempt to extort Canada continues to draw mockery, and Telnaes does the rest of the commentators one better by noting that not only are the Canadians not intimidated, but Americans are lining up behind Carney and his crew as they tell Dear Leader where to get off.

A poll taken earlier this month shows that the majority of Americans feel Trump should lighten up on Canada, but that was before the latest confrontation, and it’s hard to believe the Canadians’ bold refusal to knuckle under cost them any support from Yanks.

Amorim says that Dear Leader, here shown as some sort of destructive insect, is harming the Maple Leaf, but that’s one of the few depictions so far that indicates any damage to the Canadians, and, even then, it’s hardly flattering to Trump and his crew.

Most are more along the lines of McKee’s suggestion that Trump is doing more harm to America than he is to Canada, and it’s certainly true that we’ll be spending more on the various Canadian imports — including hockey sticks — that will now carry a 50% tariff. And there will be greater pain once the Canadians announce the moves they’re likely to impose in response, because we import a significant amount of aluminum and construction materials, not to mention potash from which fertilizer is made.

If no one else, pity our poor farmers. First Trump eliminated fertilizer from the Persian Gulf and now he’s going to raise the price of it from Canada. That’s besides the pain he caused by reducing AID, which purchased grain from farmers to send overseas, and we can assume that cuts in SNAP will also result in cuts in fruit and vegetable purchases.

The farmer and the cowman should be friends, and they seem to agree that having ICE snatch away their workers is bad enough without Dear Leader importing beef to compete with homegrown meat, though it is kind of funny that Dear Leader has been lying about who pays import tariffs but now has suddenly announced that dropping tariffs on this imported beef will lower its price.

Trump decided, for some reason, to be cute about where these 300,000 metric tons of imported beef were coming from, and his lack of candor has sparked a rumor that it may be horse meat and not beef. Alcaraz jokes about that rumor with a general distrust of the source to suggest that lying about the type of meat leads to lying about the source, and why not? They shoot horses, don’t they?

I doubt people would eat horse and mistake it for beef, but the silly story about JD Vance and a couch was almost immediately revealed to be a joke and yet it is still following him around as if it were true. There’s no reason to think common sense will keep the horse meat rumor from transforming itself from a foolish rumor into a well-known fact.

And, for that matter, if mustangs are being rounded up and sold on the cheap to overseas slaughterhouses, that could conceivably lead to their meat being re-imported without telling anyone where it came from. Trump is making his beef gesture look like a scam by refusing to come clean with the details. This is known in futbol as scoring an own-goal.

Dear Leader declared himself “a very stable genius” eight years ago, and proceeded to overplay his hand by claiming to have been valedictorian of his college class but threatening to sue any school that released his grades. He then topped it off by saying that he inherited his intelligence from his uncle, who was a professor at MIT who knew the Unabomber, except that the Unabomber went to Harvard and John Trump died before the Unabomber was identified, so wouldn’t have spoken about knowing him.

However, the trick to being the smartest person in the room is to have the power to decide who else is in that room. Anderson offers a reasonable metaphor to explain Trump’s sponsorship of having Lindsey Graham’s sister first fill in the remainder of his Senate term and now run for election to succeed him.

In a campaign debate, Darline Graham revealed herself to know nothing about the most basic foreign politics, which in a functioning democracy would get her laughed off the stage. And it’s true that an attempt to put Hershel Walker in office failed miserably, Walker’s main qualification being that Trump had hired him to play football when the stable genius was single-handedly tanking a viable sports league.

We’ll see how Darline Graham does in November, but meanwhile we’ve got a Secretary of Education who mistook artificial intelligence for a brand of steak sauce and continues to believe that school nurses were secretly performing major surgery on small children.

Trump’s bold willingness to peddle nonsense has become GOP policy and the party has adopted the old-fashioned strategy of screaming “Commies!” in lieu of addressing genuine issues in society. Necessary does well to outfit the gullible voter in a MAGA hat, because it’s not yet clear whether anyone but the dedicated loyalists will fall for the distraction.

Polls indicate a growing discontent, much of it directed at Trump but spilling over into distrust of his fellow Republicans, which is the natural result of there having been no lively debate and discussion within the party. Lyndon Johnson credited Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn with teaching him that if you want to get along, go along, but there’s a substantial difference between a little log-rolling and back-scratching and turning belly up in submission.

The basic question to be answered in November is whether the same fury over the price of eggs will repeat itself in the form of fury over the price of gasoline, and whether that fury will be directed at one party or at all incumbents or just certain specific candidates.

But first, people need a chance to express their preferences at all. Dear Leader is doing his best to gain control of the coming elections, despite representing a party that has always preached the gospel of States Rights. He has won a temporary advantage, but those chickens have not yet hatched.

Stay tuned. And keep the faith.

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 22

  1. If you’re skeptical that people would eat horse and mistake it for beef, I would like to draw your attention to the Great Horse Meat Scandal of 2013, where meat sold by major British retailers (and elsewhere, but Tesco figured large in the story) was not what it purported to be. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013_horse_meat_scandal

    1. Big difference between adulteration and a complete swap. Most of the cases were adulteration, while in the panic that ensued much of it was about lack of properly cleaning the equipment. I don’t know what percent becomes obvious, but 100% certainly should be.

      1. Kind of depends on what you read. Here’s the BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-21418342)

        From the BBC:
        Some Tesco Everyday Value Spaghetti Bolognese contains 60% horsemeat, DNA tests by the retailer have found.
        and
        Last week Findus UK took its frozen beef lasagne, made by Comigel, off the shelves after some samples were found to contain up to 100% horsemeat.

        “Some” is doing a fair amount of work here. What percentage of the samples surveyed had that much horsemeat? The second quote is even more ambiguous. “Up to”? My house is worth up to five million dollars, at least that’s my selling price when someone calls with an offer to buy it.

        The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/feb/15/horsemeat-scandal-the-essential-guide#103) says that the Food Safety Authority of Ireland “found horse DNA in over one-third of the beefburger samples, and pig in 85% of them” which could be due to poor cleaning. “One beefburger sample from Tesco turned out to be 29% horse instead of beef. Until then supermarkets and enforcement bodies had not tested for horse in beef products, because no one expected it to be there.” Again, it’s “one beefburger sample.” Further on, the article says “Huge blocks of frozen meat at a cold store in Northern Ireland, Freeza Foods, which had been quarantined by officials suspicious of its labelling and state of packaging, were found to contain 80% horse.” (Freeza Foods said that they weren’t going to use them.)

        However, I stand by my claim that “some” meat, exact quantity unknown, contained more horse than could be attributed to cleaning error. Feel free to tear my claim apart–you’re a journalist, I’m a librarian, and we both favor accuracy.

        Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in an airport and I have to trot over to my paddock. Um, gate.

      2. Horse meat is actually healthier than beef or pork. It is low in cholesterol. Just sprinkle some glitter on it and tell your kids it’s unicorn meat. If your steak tries to make big leaps, it comes from Australia.

      3. Honestly, the one time I had kangaroo meat, I thought it was tasty. Reminded me of skirt steak.

      4. One of the German supermarkets used to get occasional shipments of kangaroo and ostrich meat. At the beginning, they were frozen (fresh), and quite good if they were done correctly. Later on, the producers switched to packaging “precooked” meat. Theoretically, all you needed to do was warm it up, but the result was always shoe leather. We quit buying the stuff, and I guess everyone else did too: I haven’t seen either one in any supermarket here for at least a decade.

  2. The “rumor” about JD Vance’s couch relations came about in response to his excuses for straight-up lying about Haitian immigrants in I
    Ohio—that what he was saying wasn’t actually supported by any evidence but he was just trying to bring attention to an issue or some such. A Twitter user decided, “okay, then I can just make something up to prove a point, and if it gets repeated enough it becomes “true””. It just happened to “sticks” because Vance is an unlikable weirdo.

    And, I can’t even send cough drops to school with my kid without registering them with the nurse—how are they supposedly going to have a secret stash of hormones back there? I have yet to see any news about a kid who got “transitioned” at school, even in the wingnut press. If it’s happening, there should be “secretly transitioned” kids all over the place, right?

    1. Not to mention just where tf are these (supposedly public) schools getting all this money for gender-reassignment surgeries?

      Also, the implication seems to be these kids are having surgeries performed on them without their consent… like yeah, even if that were true it would not exactly be a secret.

      You have to be an idiot and/or Republican to believe this nonsense…

      1. Even something as simple as having a tooth removed takes recovery time. How is a child supposed to bounce back from same day surgery ? It’s ridiculous.

  3. And dt is again trying to find a way to charge rural hospitals, clinics, and schools over a hundred thousand dollars for each foreign teacher, physician, dentist, and nurse they need to fill gaps

  4. Re: Schools transitioning students, a lesson in making social conflict out of nothing.

    Student: “I know my name is ‘Chris’ but I’d feel better if you called me ‘Taylor’ from now on.”

    School: “If it helps you learn, we’ll call you ‘Taylor’, you learn best when you feel safe and comfortable.”

    Parent: “I named my kid ‘Chris’ and they’re gonna stay ‘Chris’! This school is facilitating their Chris->Taylor transition behind my back!”

    School: ???

    Politicians: “Schools are transitioning kids! They leave the house as ‘Chris’ and come home as ‘Taylor’! We must do something about this!” (stage note: Strongly imply irreversible physical transitions are happening, a simple name change isn’t enough to frighten people into voting.)

    Parents: “Why do I now have to sign forms saying the school is allowed to call my kid by a nickname?”

    Politicians: “Transitioning is happening! We have to end it! Panic! This is still a problem even though we passed those laws about nicknames!”

    Schools: “Dang, look at all this extra paperwork… Hey! where did our funding go?”

  5. “pity our poor farmers” nah, they saw him make problems for them last time and still voted for him again. Fool me once . . .

    1. On a pragmatic level, winning people over to your side is a sensible political goal. On a personal level, rejoicing in someone else’s misfortune loads you up with very bad karma. That not only applies to farmers losing land their families have worked for generations, but also applies to children who die of diseases their parents could have vaccinated them against.

      1. Here’s the thing—say I lose my life savings to a con man. How would I personally react?

        1) I’d sue the conman, if I could afford it, or at least get some of his other victims together to do a class action.

        2) I’d examine my own thought processes to figure out what made me susceptible to his grift and work on fixing those.

        3) I’d give up any media that I’d consumed that had told me to trust him. Any financial mag or commentator that I read that presented him as legit would be dead to me.

        4) If I had any friends or family still invested in him, I’d tell them to pull out immediately.

        5) If there were any loved ones who had told me to trust him, I might not necessarily disown them but I’d certainly give any advice from them a good side-eye for the foreseeable future.

        6) If there were any loved ones who had warned me not to trust him, I’d thank them. If I had insulted them back when they’d warned me, I’d certainly apologize for that.

        7) No, I wouldn’t appreciate any “I told you so”’s but I would welcome advice about how to keep from getting hurt in the future.

        That’s how a normal person would react, I’d like to think. Notice that I wouldn’t just keep doing all the same stuff that set me up for being exploited.

        It’s one thing to have sympathy for Trump voters who are realizing that they’ve been played. But if they aren’t going to do anything meaningful about it—if they’re just going to keep listening to Fox and sneering at liberals—what’s the point?

      2. There’s a farmer on TikTok who, just recently, switched from posts about how the current economic crisis to screaming about “hate comments” on those videos and how she would “never vote” for any “Democrats, Communists, Socialists, Marxists” because she was asked who she voted for.

        They’re not being won over, they’re just digging in their heels and attacking anyone and everyone except the person who caused their current problems. Choices and actions have consequences, or at least they’re supposed to.

  6. Thank you for Mavis Staples! Your column and that song has made my day!

  7. I, for one, was shocked to learn from Trump how the Canadians were taking advantage of us in trade. Apparently, the people who renegotiated our comprehensive trade agreement with them a few years ago were real idiots.

  8. 1) The National Lampoon did a Sunday newspaper parody.
    They had a take-out for the local Swill-Mart which advertised ground beef as USDA Grade Okee-Dokee.

    2) Poor unqualified Darline Graham reminds me of a state senate candidate I covered a long time ago.
    He was the son of a former State Senate Majority Leader and nephew of a former governor.
    He also was a well-known former bar manager who drove at least two bars into bankruptcy.
    The powers that be decided he should run for Senate. Everybody knew him as “Bobby Junior”. They changed it to “Robert” and they had his uncle and the Assembly Speaker come to a news conference.
    First question: “What do you plan to do if you’re elected?”
    “Robert” pointed his thumbs to the Speaker and former governor and said “Whatever these guys tell me to do.”
    The former governor put his face in his hands.

  9. a cartoonist should turn this into one.

    Trump is like BOUNTY PAPER TOWELS . He’s a Quicker F*ker Upper

  10. In social studies, I was taught log-rolling and back-scratching was how law-making was accomplished. Since nowadays they call it flip-flopping and disloyalty, what’s the current method of law-making called?

    1. Log-rolling and back-scratching were how people worked across the aisle. We no longer need words for things that no longer happen.

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