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CSotD: Beware the Ides of July

Might as well laugh, because between now and the midterms, we’re going to be hearing more about the communists under all our beds.

Laughter is the best medicine, I read in Reader’s Digest, and I think it’s also a good purgative. The problem is that Ostow’s cartoon relies on your already knowing how foolish the shouts of “Communism!” are, which makes it comforting but not persuasive.

People who believe Mamdani is a communist, and who don’t know The Communist Manifesto from Silas Warner, would just shrug and move on, assuming they saw the cartoon in the first place.

I hate those comedy bits where they interview stupid people on the street, because I’ve (reluctantly) done enough man-on-the-street stories to know that they aren’t representative of very much and you can always cherry-pick the ones that make whatever point you went out there to make.

On the other hand, I know there really are stupid people out there, and we’ve seen adequate proof that they vote. Humor might undercut their beliefs, but even if it just provides motivation for the rest of us to keep going, it matters.

Calls for universal health care are something conservatives call communist, but I think it’s hard to rally people to rise up over something they encounter one-by-one and on particular occasions, rather than regularly, every few days, like the price of gasoline.

However, I’ve sat in department head meetings where the business manager explained the latest hike from our insurance company, and how the only way we could afford health coverage for employees was to whittle it down until it was worthless.

The American system of health coverage is definitely not communism or even socialism, except for the Affordable Care Act, which they assure me is both.

The rest of it was set up and is being protected by people who have far more forks than anybody really needs.

Joe Martin riffs on the names the government gives its military operations. When I was freelancing back at the dawn of time, I had cards made up with a little dog riding on a circus horse and the words “Dog and Pony” to make it look like I was a real business and not just some schlub looking for a quick gig. I had the title “communications consultant” under my name, only I found out that a “communications consultant” is someone who installs telephones.

“Epic Fury” is the name for our war on Iran, but it sounds like the story of a Homeric horse and the boy who loved him.

I don’t know when companies began a policy of “Inflated Job Title in Lieu of Raise,” but, like Lizzie, I don’t care what you’re called as long as you can help. On the other hand, words do have meanings, and while “associate” doesn’t really convey anything about the job, if you’re going to call the help “partners,” you ought to have a profit-sharing plan in place.

And if I’m a customer, I’ll pay for stuff. If you call me a “guest,” I ought to get it for free.

I keep getting emails from Substacks I never heard of, and I think I’ve been pretty careful, when I sign up for one I do want, of ticking off the box to keep me from getting signed up for ones I don’t. When Substack first emerged, I went to see what it was all about and somehow inadvertently volunteered to host one. Lately, I’ve been getting notices that people have joined my Substack and I hope they aren’t too disappointed that there’s nothing there.

Kind of gives me an image of people sitting hopefully on a bus that’s up on blocks.

We don’t have buskers out here in the sticks, but we have plenty of panhandlers. A sign of the economy.

I don’t think anyone is keeping track, but I suspect their take is going down because so many people don’t carry cash anymore and there aren’t a lot of panhandlers who carry card-swipers. And grandmas like the one in this RWO who do have cash in their purses are generally scared to death of strangers on the street.

I always put a few bucks in my pocket when I travel, just in case, and I’ve been known to reward a panhandler with a good rap, just as I’d tip a busker with a good song. Maybe what they’re telling me is a load of bull, but I don’t think the busker on the corner actually saw the Edmund Fitzgerald go down, either.

Sorensen takes a break from serious political commentary to talk about Happy Stench, the ghastly smells embedded in an increasing number of products or sold separately so you can make your whole house stink like artificial flowers.

There was a time when overwhelming perfume was associated with little old ladies whose olfactory senses had diminished with age, but, as Sorensen says, it’s now everybody everything everywhere. Some people are allergic to artificial scents, but you don’t have to be oversensitive to find them repulsive.

Women are more sensitive to smell than men, which is why a guy can get points simply for showering between coming home from work and coming to bed. Maybe the recent growth in incels can be traced to Axe Body Spray, because being stinky not only costs you points but robs you of opportunities to earn them.

Meanwhile, you can buy stuff to put in your laundry to make it smell like linen, but you can also buy neutral detergents and your linen will come out smelling like linen, and, as a bonus, your cotton will smell like cotton.

I would have just thrown him out the overton window.

Edison Lee has invented something that spirited him and his friends back in time, and it’s been fun so far. It started here and I hope it’s the beginning of a new direction for the strip, because it has all sorts of possibilities.

After all, I’m reading Killing Baby Hitler and Audrey Niffenegger is publishing a sequel to the Time Traveler’s Wife.

Time travel is becoming a thing.

Mike Peterson has posted his "Comic Strip of the Day" column every day since 2010. His opinions are his own, but we welcome comments either agreeing or in opposition.

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Comments 21

  1. May we assume that “cheery-picking” means selecting the happiest respondents?

  2. I think Silas Warner must be Silas Marner. Still remembered from 10th grade.

    1. Had him mixed up with Seth Warner. I’ve been rereading my stuff from the 225th Anniversary of Burgoyne’s campaign. Given that they’ve likely never heard of either of them, I’ll leave it.

  3. The cartoon about scents hit home. I abhor all the artificial scents put in everyday items. Last week I had to get new cat litter. The store was out of the cheap, gritty kind I usually get. I got a box of Tidy Cat that was on sale. Now my entire garage smells terrible from my viewpoint. Why?!

    1. And if it smells terrible to you, imagine what it smells like to the cats, who have a better sense of smell!

  4. Re: Time travel, you should read Life after Life by Kate Atkinson, or at least watch the streaming adaptation on Netflix.

    1. My favorite time travel movie is “About Time” because that’s what I’d want to do if I could time travel.

      1. Being an intellectual, my first thought was “It’s about time, it’s about space …”

      2. I loved the book A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court but the movie sucked like a broken jet window. And I’m a Bing backer.

      3. I may be one of the few who get your reference; I have the complete series on DVD!

  5. Another good time travel novel is Time and Again by Jack Finney. There is also a sequel, From Time to Time.

    1. Time and Again is one of the rare few time travel books that doesn’t make me want to throw it across the room.

      1. Besides, you might mess up the drapes.

  6. I don’t think throwing him out the Overton window would work, because I hear it’s constantly shifting, and rarely in the direction you’d expect.

  7. Cuneo’s cartoon made me laugh. Justifiable homicide for sure.

    One of my few inviolable rules in life is I always give a buck to a street musician. The quality of their playing is irrelevant. (I also always stop for a lemonade stand. The quality of their lemonade is irrelevant.)

    The Beatles were a tight little band.

  8. ah yes, I remember the days when Axe Body Spray was considered a viable substitute for showering

    I honestly don’t mind artificial scents too much, as long as they’re within reason. I tend to get plenty of compliments on how my hair smells

    Speaking of, anyone remember the shampoo “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific”?

  9. I have disliked the proliferation of artificial scents in all sorts of products for years. I don’t need garbage bags, kitty litter, laundry detergent, and myriad other products to stink. I also suffered heavily with plane seatmates doused heavily in perfumes. I still dislike them all and avoid these products, but I lost my sense of smell in January 2020 during the first wave of Covid before I even knew what it was. Now I miss all the normal smells of the world. I keep hoping one day to smell the sweet dense aroma of a flower again.

  10. These days there is a minimum swipe of £3 for a busker on the London Underground. No doubt the banks are keen to get their cut.

  11. Yesterday I happened to watch episode one of Mr. Peabody and Sherman’s Wayback Machine.

  12. It’s a dilemma for me. I loved the different perfumes that women USED to wear. But, now because of people reacting to these scents (and, I understand this), I miss some of the beautiful perfumes that used to be popular. Generally, the perfumes were worn just a hint of scent. What seems to be replacing them is industrial strength eu de petroleum stuff that is supposed to make one think that that the particular product is somehow excellent in every way. Sorry, but can we discuss this in an intelligent manner?

  13. It’s certainly true that “we’ve seen adequate proof that they vote.” Perhaps we ought to revive the literacy test for elections, but this time have the questions about basic political issues and which candidates espouse which of them. Maybe the League of Women Voters could write the questions. Say, “What’s more important, corporations or people?:”

    And BTW, I’ve never encountered a “beautiful perfume.”

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