Spoiler alert if – and I’m quoting the NYTimes blogs, “if you care about the fictional life of a 67-year-old teenager.”
Last week it was announced that Archie was going to pop the big question to either Veronica or Betty in September’s 600th edition. The beans got spilled early, Archie is marrying Veronica (at least proposing, anyway). The Globe and Mail report that fans are divided on the story-line.
I was hoping Archie would pop the question to Miss Grumby.
I wasn’t invited.
Poor Betty will take to the bottle and then… the long downward spiral.
Maybe they can get pregnant, have 8 kids and call the spin-off comic “Arch and Ronnie plus 8”.
Archie will go back to Betty cause Veronica starts cutting her hair with the cartoon weed trimmer, talks with a cartoon Canadian trailer park accent, leaves him a $5 – a – week allowance, sleeps with the cartoon bodyguard and installs a cartoon ten foot pole in the bedroom to remind him that even with that, he can’t touch her.
Maybe THEN Archie comics would be relevant… And somewhat entertaining.
This post: 3 minutes I’m never getting back, but the most fun I’ve had all week.
http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/jun-01-2009?utm_source=featureband
Actually I read Archie and Veronica will get married, have an ugly kid named Josh Fruhlinger Andrews that looks exactly like Jughead (confusing the naive Archie), then they will suffer a Funky Winkerbean time shift, thrusting them 18 years into the future. Their ugly now-teenager will break Archie’s heart when he starts a webcomic based upon his Dad’s stint in the state pen for running over Veronica’s rich father with his jalopy ‘Betsy’ after she leaves Archie to join Betty in a lesbian terrorist cell.
Of course, then the freaky Josh baby will be crucified by cartoon strip bloggers for having anything at all to do with webcomics.
I’m going over to Betty’s house. See you guys later.